The inconsistent art styles really broke immersion for me. There was a lot of reading and this is not a format where I can enjoy it like I would with a real book. I suggest a more abbreviated story to complement this visual novel approach. Adding more choices, even if it only gives the illusion of choice, would keep me more engaged. Logical puzzles would be a lot of fun. Even roleplaying and just including the possibility of strategy would be helpful. A positive ending can only be valued when its weighed against the challenges it took to get there.
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Yes, aside from artstyle, more choices and more dialogues appear to be a consistent feedback I'm getting also. I focused on monologues to highlight the character's internal struggle instead of dialogues that highlight events, but it seems I've overdone it to the point you've lost engagement.
I'll take your feedback for consideration. Thank you, I'll try to do better next time