Hello! dropping in like i said i would!
So this is a really interesting one. For one side, the story is actually great and it really made me think, it actually makes you try to think about the timeline of events and facts and makes you feel ike a detective, and that's delicious. Seriously! give me more of that, hehe
For the other side, though i understand how you tried to use the only one at a time gimmick, it kinda falls because you can always repeat the story multiple times, and you do need all the facts.
Maybe doing the same thing, but only being able to listen once and having the text move in real time (although slowly) could work? that way you'd have to really listen to all of them and be quick to catch the facts. maybe you'd need to tell the players to get paper and a pen too, hehe
voice acting could help if you go realtime, though i know it's quite hard to find good ones.
overall, it's actually a really good idea, just need to give it a spin on the execution. Promising!