Post by SomeSome in New Year's Day(e) comments

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Playing Chapter 2 atm. Slight Critique:

*Slight Spoiler*

When Kaylee is asked to go with that woman the MC later says that he could be arrested if he didn't let her. Since Kaylee is an adult this isn't true unless he holds Kaylee against HER will. Calling the Police in this situation would've been totally in favor of the MC because the woman was also drunk which would result also the situation being in favor of the MC if the woman had a right to demand Kaylee to come for whatever reason because the MC could just say he protects her against drunk driving. That woman can't make Kaylee do anything she doesn't want to.

Jonesy1 year ago(+1)(-2)

You're kind of right, but it was meant to convey that:

Spoiler:

keeping Mia there against HER will could possibly lead to a kidnapping charge, not Kaylee. Kaylee is going with Mia voluntarily because of her sense of duty as Mia's daughter. The MC says "You don't have to go", and Kaylee responds, "Yes I do. This time I do."

If that bit was confusing to the reader, I apologize, but that is what I meant to get across.

I appreciate the feedback in any case. I'll read through that part again and see if I can think of a better way to phrase things. Maybe tweak it when I release ch. 3.

BtW, I tried using Butler a while back and couldn't figure it out. I'll try again because I really would prefer to host the files directly on itch. I've sent them messages requesting more space for my games and I never get a response. Thank you for trying to help though. I truly do appreciate it.

itch.io

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