Okay, having finally finished all the possible routes, endings, and dialogue options, I have one teeny-tiny, barely significant criticism.
And it's regarding the saucy bits.
Now aside from a few moments with Dean, whenever it gets to the part where cheesy saxaphone music should start playing, we are instead greeted with a black screen and some text variance of
"...and one thing led to another and now your clothes don't wear as well the next day and your hair doesn't fall in quite the same way. Now moving along swiftly..."
Like, no,no,no,no,no! Don't tell me "one thing led to another."!
I want to see in, full blasphemous, 4K, UHD, glory exactly how I made Roswell squeel like a pig!
I want be able to count how many times I rotisseried on Sal's joystick before making him spill the beans!
I need to know the answer to Dean's question "Does Orlando have balls?" and more importantly "What do they taste like?"
I need that minigame where we try to find out what lasts longer, Ty's dick or a feather?
And you owe it your fans, to help us finally solve the mystery of what would happen if you scratched the base of Hoss's tail while he's mid-orgasm.
These are truly the mysteries we need to solve!
/s