This is very engaging and quite a lot of fun! It shows good promise for the game's full version.
I really like how much movement there was in this visual novel - how many animations there were. It wasn't just a load of backdrops appearing and disappearing, with a bunch of characters sliding around. There was ACTION! Moving objects, visual effects, elaborate set pieces, elaborate, fun transitions... it almost felt like watching an animated show rather than a visual novel, and I really appreciate how much effort was put in to make everything fun, kinetic and vibrant.
I liked the writing. It had the right balance of simplicity and verbosity. Enough elaborate, dramatic language to set a passionate, serious and hearfelt tone, but also enough simplicity to stop it from becoming bloated or pretentious.
I also like how many times I was given a choice in what to do or what to say. That sort of thing is important in a visual novel, to help the player feel involved and immersed in the story, and I feel that I was given a choice not too many times, and not too few times.
The art style is striking and nice to look at. There is a risk that a completely black-and-white pallete could look boring, but not here! Everything can be clearly made out, and all the lavish effects really help make everything look interesting. I like how, a lot of the time, the shading looks deliberately 'drawn' - cross-hatching and spirally, for example. It really helps to give the impression that this is a manga come to life - which is the style that this game was clearly going for!
However, I have to say that this art style led to one of my most serious complaints about this game. Sometimes, it's hard to make out the game options on screen - the 'save', 'history', 'load' and so on. These words are in very similar colours to the rest of the screen, and sometimes a lot of the words get completely obscured by the characters! Admittedly, this wasn't a HUGE problem. I could just about work out where to click even if I couldn't completely see where I was pointing my mouse... but even so, this should NEVER happen. Players should ALWAYS be able to see the options clearly and distinctly. I suggest maybe making the options be in a colour that clearly stands out from everything else on the screen - have them be in red, or something. Although, that could possibly ruin the black-and-white aesthetic of the game... maybe put the options in a black box and have the words be in white, so they can always be clearly seen?
I liked the music, overall. It seemed a bit stark and harsh at times, and sometimes I don't know whether I'd have prefered more naturalistic sounds rather than the more electronic sound that I got, but overall, it was nice. There was a nice variety in sounds, and the different tunes skillfully gave across the tones of each scene they were playing over - which is what you want from music!
Well done to everyone involved in making this! This isn't really the kind of visual novel that I'd usually play, and yet I still had fun and felt drawn into it. That should be a good sign! :) Good luck with all your future efforts.