Ahoy there!
I think this is a great submission :) I enjoyed your use of a sketch-style for the art, with the black and white contrast. The story intrigued me and I enjoyed the ending!
I felt the music fitted the scenes well and the sound effects were precise and contributed to the atmosphere.
I agree with NovaSWARM's suggestion in regard to using the Narrator for the *actions*. I would also like to add that you may wish to add trigger warnings regarding the physical abuse that occurs. This can sometimes make it easier for people to share your content with their community.
How did you find the game jam process? Do you have any more game jam projects lined up? :)
All the best,
Ocelot