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White Noise in the Void's itch.io pageResults
| Criteria | Rank | Score* | Raw Score |
| Sound Effects | #157 | 2.138 | 4.000 |
| Music | #161 | 2.138 | 4.000 |
| Story | #174 | 2.138 | 4.000 |
| Accessibility | #181 | 1.871 | 3.500 |
| Log Line | #182 | 1.871 | 3.500 |
| User Interface Design | #183 | 1.871 | 3.500 |
| Character Designs | #189 | 1.871 | 3.500 |
| Overall | #189 | 1.604 | 3.000 |
| Halloween Themed | #194 | 1.604 | 3.000 |
| Game Graphic & Logo Design | #194 | 1.604 | 3.000 |
| Game Page Design | #198 | 1.069 | 2.000 |
| Voice Acting | #198 | 0.535 | 1.000 |
Ranked from 2 ratings. Score is adjusted from raw score by the median number of ratings per game in the jam.
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Comments
Ahoy there!
I think this is a great submission :) I enjoyed your use of a sketch-style for the art, with the black and white contrast. The story intrigued me and I enjoyed the ending!
I felt the music fitted the scenes well and the sound effects were precise and contributed to the atmosphere.
I agree with NovaSWARM's suggestion in regard to using the Narrator for the *actions*. I would also like to add that you may wish to add trigger warnings regarding the physical abuse that occurs. This can sometimes make it easier for people to share your content with their community.
How did you find the game jam process? Do you have any more game jam projects lined up? :)
All the best,
Ocelot
First of all good job with the amount of art needed for this VN. There are a lot of scenes. The art style is very charming and the kids are so cute! I LOVE the design of the little girl with the knife
Some of the interactions like when the girl is teasing the two older kids were funny.
I'm not sure if the area titles like "The shadows" are really necessary to have on screen at all times. It may have been nicer to have the main images be a little bigger and only have the area name show up for a few seconds during the transition.
Sometimes characters have their actions shown between *. I think you could make use of the narrator consistently to show these actions instead of grouping them in with the character's dialogue. For example right now you have *He turns to him quickly* in Max's dialogue. Instead it could be something like Narrator: "He turns to Max quickly" and then continue with Max's dialogue. Don't be afraid to have single lines in the narration. You don't have to completely fill the dialogue box.
Thanks for the review :) I wanted to improve my dialogue code in game maker, and I found that doing a VN jam was the best way to it, that's why is not really a VN game with choices.
I still didn't decide how to do the dialogs about narrator explaining the action or putting the action between * action *, so I take your advice and in the future I'll stop doing the * thing.