Really cute and intriguing! ☺️ A few things can be touched up here and there, but it's a good start! 😁 Danny and Leo are an hilarious pairing 😆 they're so much fun~ 😋 Will there be character routes? And if so, please tell me that Edgar will be 1ne! 😅
I like everything so far, but the scene in the beginning on the emergency staircase needs some attention. As a reader, it's a little jarring going from the dream sequence, into Adam's reality, and then straight into the fight with his father. A little breathing room between us meeting Adam and him running away will help readers settle into his character. Perhaps just a short paragraph about how he's feeling? Maybe why he snuck out there and fell asleep?
I really like what xou've got so far and am eagerly looking forward to more 😌