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Gotta say definitely love the story so far and congrats on how much work you have done being your first AVN. My only critique would be the pacing of the music when using music in some scenes sometimes ambient background noise can work rather than having a song play. Some of the music chosen doesn't really fit during some scenes but I could tell you got better over time between the different versions. I would also advise being careful when using certain songs for legal reasons. Other than that I have enjoyed this work and look forward to the next release in the future. 

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Thanks for the feedback, I will take into consideration with 0.2. Some of the stuff in older version are being adjusted and remade currently, so I will improve them as much as I possibly can :)