Notes from gameplay:
- Nice main menu. The font is engaging and I love how choices change color when highlighted
- Nice job with controls details. Self-voicing is weirdly in a different font
- Font for game text could be better. Feels very default
- Past tense feels weird to me for an interactive game, present tense (I enter vs I entered, The paint is crumbling vs the paint was crumbling) inserts readers more directly into the story
- Nice use of overlaid character art on the background
- Great consistent art style!
- The writing overall could be punched up a bit. It feels a bit rushed, and there are grammar/spelling issues which hinder reading. The core thoughts, however, are really interesting and compelling! Eg the scene about looking into other windows introduces some interesting thoughts.
- Issues with tense shifting from past to present and back again (eg I have to find a plumber)
- Cute animation of woman sliding down the hoarding pile
- Nice use of sound effects
- Good use of screen shake when reeling fish in
- Nice mystery established with tlotl
- Overall plot is a bit rambling, improving the writing would make it easier for the reader to go along for the ride
- Figure moving closer is nice scene
- Not many choices for the player
Overall this a great kafka-esque story, but it would benefit from tightening up the writing and inserting more choices for the player. I loved the creepy vibe and surreal tone, but I think a few more branching options along the way would make it more engaging - as is, players mostly just click through the story without much to do. Excellent work with adding sound details to specific scenes!