Notes from gameplay:
- I like the shadow on the text to give it more punch, but it seems the shadow is offset by one or two many pixels, leading to a blurred effect. (only in menu sections, in the story it looks good)
- Changing color on mouseover is nice for main menu
- Nice use of sounds to complement the story text!
- Backgrounds seem to be washed out after they are initially shown - for example, the cabin in the woods first shows in full color, but then gets a very heavy blue overlay so all I can see are faint lines
- Font choice could be kicked up a bit, feels very "default"
- Interesting choice of line breaks. Instead of whole sentences, we get each concept delivered to us. The result feels quite poetic and surreal
- Creepy animation on "deep blood town" screen. Well done!
- Nice consistent art style with the characters, gives me an anime vibe
- Dialog with schoolboy is a bit tricky to follow who's speaking. Maybe consider using different font color for each character
- Nice job creating personality through dialogue details for each character
- Font display might look better on the bottom of the screen, as-is it's covering the characters
- Very few choices for player interaction to branch the story. Adding in more of these would engage the player more
- Nice job changing the character expressions based on story events/dialogue/etc
- Nice use of details to enrich the story environment, such as description of food
- Good use of background music to enhance different parts of the story, though some of the songs can be a bit grating to hear repeatedly
- Excellent use of repetition with "she is watching"
- Abrupt ending
Overall, this is a great first attempt! I think you'd benefit from cleaning up the UI to make it easier to read, as well as adding in more interactive options for players and some branching storylines. You did a good job using details in your writing to set a scene and create some interesting characters with unique personalities. You could improve the story by punching up the word choices and including more descriptive phrases. Keep up the good work, you're got a great start here!