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Can You play as intersex, or is it strictly female in the vr world?

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By intersex you have to specify. Shemale, futa? Or do you mean nb?

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If you're referring to having male genitalia in sex scenes, in the CURRENT version the answer is no. A slow feminization of the protagonist in the "Real World" is planned for future versions, which will involve scenes where the protagonist has male genitals.
Although, if by "intersex" you meant "playing as a character who was born medically intersex", then that is not planned.

On that note of the character being (temporarily maybe) shemale, is sissy content planned? Not mean/bad sissy stuff, but in general? After all, the protag is stated to be submissive.

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I suppose it depends on what the term means to you.
Chastity content is tentatively planned, and I think I'd say the protagonist already receives a fair bit of teasing.
If you mean the term specifically, I'm not sure. If I were to include the word itself, I think I'd make it optional in some way.

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Sissy content is usually sexualized feminization that includes:

- Normal feminization stuff - hormones, dressing up, etc - but at an accelerated rate.

- Chastity and maybe sextoys.

- Accepting that women having sex is normal, and by becoming a girl/woman the sissy having sex as a girl is normal. Usually stories portray this with a shock factor of someone close to the sissy having sex without them - girlfriend, girl friend, mother, sister, mistress, etc - but this doesn't have to be ntr. And this precludes the sissy having sex as a girl.

- Obtaining an ideally girlish body through extra means, such as yoga and pole dancing, changing one's diet, mastering makeup,  normalizing paying for beauty upkeep like manicures, waxing, etc.

A lot of it is normal trans acceptance type stuff but with an added layer of things usually considered sexual. And the sissy is in a submissive role throughout.

Sexualized feminization currently exists in-game, and chastity and sex toys are both planned.

And "normal trans acceptance stuff but with an added layer of 'sexual'" is DEFINITELY a big theme of my game - although I plan to intentionally leave it up to the player whether the protagonist is specifically labeled as "trans" or not. :)

The "obtaining an ideally girlish body" is done by some sort of reality-warping-magic-sci-fi-shenanigans in my game, rather than the tropes you listed, but I think there's still a comparison to be made there.

Like this "older" game 

https://www.tfgames.site/index.php?module=viewgame&id=2190

Like 90% female except you happen to have a dick in the game world by choice.

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There won't be a choice at the beginning like that game had, but it's planned, yes - only in the "IRL" area though.
(You switch back and forth between areas in-game.)
The plan is to have your original, male, non-VR form be slowly feminized, so "female but with a penis" is how you're eventually planned to be able to end up there.

just tried it out and that game is pretty amazing do you know of any other games like tihs?

Unfinished and discontinued, still pretty solid

https://www.tfgames.site/index.php?module=viewgame&id=2190

Looser, but similar vein

https://www.tfgames.site/index.php?module=viewgame&id=2354