I am going to give an honest feedback here as a long-time Visual Novel player/reader.
The story sounds good and the writing is nice. There is a good idea for a VN that could turn into horror/suspense and investigation.
The exposition of everything at the beginning might be a little too much. Try to dispatch more your information's to not overload your reader with informations that they do not find useful at the time.
Good points to keep up :
- You have good writing, maybe try to expose a little less the characters & story elements straight on. Even more on a pure Visual Novel.
- Novel Studio Ren'py gives you a wide set of tools to make a key-in-hand VN and you tried to use them all which is nice.(Edited as I mixed up names)
Try to avoid :
- Try to not use AI for the characters next time. Novel Studio uses AI for it's in-package assets.
- You didn't had time to do the main piece of gameplay that is outside of Novel Studio Ren'py current toolset (The social media app) from what I understand. I would have preferred to see a poorly-drawn paint or free-assets VN game with less exposition but with the Social media App included.
- The music isn't really fitting the ambiance and kills the mood.
I tried to make this feedback hoping you didn't knew you were using AI artworks to help you as much as I could.