This was very funny to read. I like that you used a more serious message but told the story in such an unserious way.
There were a few places where it was a bit difficult to read the text, but for the most part, it was mostly visible. I think a simple background behind the text would have been enough. As for the options, the UI was a bit annoying as the buttons were very small, but still easy to understand that they were choices.
Overall, i had a good laugh, well done! :)