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Payal Chana

4
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A member registered Dec 06, 2021 · View creator page →

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Hoo-hoo-hoo!. Hooo! Hoo, hoo! XD

This is definitely one of my favourite submissions!

I really enjoyed so much of it! The way you used the narrator was brilliant! I also really enjoyed how you used the different affordances Twine offers to well. The addition of images were nice. It would have been nice if the audio worked, but the fact that you linked/suggested some was very nice :)

It was a very fun and silly adventure, I can see where the theme for tight-knit fits in. I also liked the little puns you have here and there. I liked that you added the riddles, the muffin-man section, teasing the kid, and talking to the owl! Your writing style and tone was amazing for this kind of piece!

Honestly well done! Keep up the cool creations! :)

This was very funny to read. I like that you used a more serious message but told the story in such an unserious way. 

There were a few places where it was a bit difficult to read the text, but for the most part, it was mostly visible. I think a simple background behind the text would have been enough. As for the options, the UI was a bit annoying as the buttons were very small, but still easy to understand that they were choices.

Overall, i had a good laugh, well done! :)

It was a good attempt to use Ink. There were moments where I was confused on why certain things were happening, but your writing itself add a small amount of intrigue because of how you word certain sentences, but this also gets a bit distracting when trying to understand the character and what they are trying to do. 

I think you have some meaningful choices, which I think are important in branched narratives, so well done with that! It does need a bit of work, but I can see the base of the story in this.

This was a very cute little game! I loved the art and cute concept. It was really fun to jump around and knock things over! The ending shocked me so much! I liked how you had everything happen in the house and be able to leave at the end.

Some of the prompts were a bit unclear, there were moments where I wondered if that was all there was to the game (jump around and knocks things over). I nearly didn't play with the friend at all. I also wasn't a big fan of some of the controls, I always tried pressing space to jump around.

Apart from that, it was a really cool! I had a lot of fun with this!

Well done! :)