They said I was crazy. They called me a madman. For years, I have evaded the temptation of the Apples and Androids of the world to try and live a simple, quaint life with my Nokia 3310. The road was far from easy. I have watched as people have shoved their candy crush's and angry birds in my face. My days became consumed playing Snake in a desperate attempt to trick myself into thinking I too was experiencing peak gaming. I played so much so, my family left me. I was at rock bottom. Was my choice to stick it to the corporate hungry mainstream phones worth this despair? Well look at me now... Now I finally have a game I can brag about. The world is not ready for the hellfire I shall reign down upon it. You may have gotten custody of the kids Rachel but I have singlehandedly beaten all 18 levels! I am no longer a man. No, I am now a floaty boy.