Dearest sir,
Listen here Pal, your behaviour is out of line. I respectfully request you tone it down a notch, friend-o.
*ahem* How very dare you call me an alien, I am quite clearly a duck. Oh- I forgot you were a simple-minded bone-headed blind Pillock who clearly cannot tell the difference between an extra terrestrial and a water bird ... my sincerest apologies. I shall have you know my brain is not small. In fact, it is quite the contrary. I believe that your emotional outburst (which might I add was bang out of order) was the release of built up emotion you had been bottling ever since your father left. You seem to have a lot of internalised hatred and project your issues onto others. You then proceed to attack and belittle them until you feel better about your sad little life. It's no wonder your father left. I would suggest you go to therapy and try to work on yourself instead of harassing innocent ducks on the internet.
Seriously get a life,
-Beano