SOB SAVING GENZOU'S ROUTE FOR LAST. Somehow that is so sweet to me... 🥺💕 This whole comment is making me tear up something horrible multiple times... ahhhh I'm trying to collect myself enough that I'm able to write a somewhat cohesive reply lsakdjfasd 🤣
I'm glad you liked Bucks's part. "The whole situation is complete when you realize in Arcs 3 and 4, Bucks just...disappears from mind, because they forgot about her." --> SOB YES. Like. They've always kinda just treated her as this extra that mostly only exists when they need her. When they need her to be a "monster," whether that's protecting them or making them laugh or being some form of entertainment. Because even from back in school, the "love square four" were so wrapped up in themselves and their own complicated dynamics that they didn't have any spare thought to put towards Bucks and always just kinda assumed she was fine and would always be there. Which is really sad. 💦 And I kinda tried to mirror that in the structure itself of the arcs. Because yeah all the complicated convoluted dynamics and drama of the other four always takes center-stage because they can only focus on each other and their own issues and forget that Bucks herself was the one who even started this whole thing to begin with!! 🤣
At any rate, I had hoped it would feel like "enough" for Bucks, especially since she (and Hunar) never got the same screen time as the others. So I really tried to put my soul into that whole part, between the action and flashbacks and cutscene. So I'm just glad if some of that could get across and still be impactful for her and her story 😭
"even IGGY seemed to think his happiness was exclusive to theirs, which was just untrue" --> GOD REALLLLL. Like even from childhood, his own joy coming from seeing his own friends happy. And how that would form his wish, which would in turn go on to cast this veil over his life. Constantly in pursuit of giving happiness to everyone but himself. Which is in itself an impossible task, hence the endless hopelessness and futility of the repeating loops lakdsjfalsd
That whole part was very personal for me and I had a hard time working on it 💦 And I got a bit worried just in general how people would respond to it 🤣 I'm glad you enjoyed it though. And also the whole part with the tree. And the ending!! (lol I'm just listening everything at this point alkdjfas) I think I was particularly anxious about the final ending and people's reactions. I knew no matter what I wouldn't be able to make everyone happy with it but I did what felt right to me and the story. I'm glad you enjoyed seeing how they all ended up lol. I feel like a big part of what I wanted to show with it was that so much of life is beyond our control and we can't blame ourselves for everything, but we can try to make a difference in small ways. And like. Showing how those small ways, even if obviously they didn't fix everyone's problems and issues, they helped give everyone more strength and support to keep pressing on and to find their own selves and their own happinesses.
LKFDJALSDFASDF WHAT AN ORDER TO PLAY THE ROUTES IN 🤣 I'm so interested in what order and/or which routes people will end up playing. Like those that want to play all, which order they go in. And those who only want to play some, which ones they choose, etc.
Sob you're the second person to point out the similarity of the bed CG with Orlam to the one where they were kids I HONESTLY DIDN'T MAKE THAT CONNECTION WHEN I DREW IT LMAO. But that is nothing new, I'm so often only pointed out these things after the fact LOL And now it seems so sweet to me and feels like it makes the final culmination of their dynamic even more fitting.
"It did hurt seeing the other's reactions though, but I feel it helps the theme" --> WEEP FOR ME TOO TBH. I knew going in that it would be hard to write the others' reactions, which is I think also why I tried to keep those after-choice scenes rather lighthearted. Both to ease my own heart, and also because I never wanted anyone to feel truly bad about their choice lkdjads But at the same time not wanting to just gloss over it. So I hope I was able to find a happy medium of still acknowledging the sadness while keeping it lighthearted enough not to drag it down 🤣
I'm glad you also liked Gidget's route! Their special scene honestly turned into one of the most personal for me. Hitting on some of the things you mentioned like wishing you could have done things differently, etc. And also I love how you mentioned this: "All in all, Iggy and Gidget felt like the most "new" relationship" --> because that's also so much how it felt to me. Like. For one, the two have not really had any chance to be with each other as "their true selves." And yes sure in their childhood they did a lot more before everything began changing, but so much of their adult life was spent behind masks, so it almost feels like they never truly knew each other even when interacting. That and ofc everything that happened in Wonderland... like, I didn't want to just gloss over any of that either and say that immediately they'd just be able to patch things up and move on when clearly that would never be the case. That's a big reason to why I made their special scene less romantic in general and didn't include a kiss or anything. Because they weren't ready yet. They needed to meet each other again and re-discover each other and grow comfortable with each other again before anything like that could happen. Which is why I had it only be in the epilogue that things took a more romantic-ish turn for them again. Only after they were able to do things over and grow close actually knowing their true selves.
SOB I'M SO GLAD YOU ENJOYED GENZOU'S ROUTE/ENDING THOUGH. EVERYTHING YOU'VE WRITTEN HERE IS SQUISHING MY HEART AND BRINGING TEARS TO MY EYES????????? Out of all of them, I think the Genzou and Iggy pair will always feel the most special to me... I tried not to let this happen as I do truly love all of them to bits and I love love LOVE the different dynamics they each bring and I wanted each one to feel like a beautiful thing and a potential true route for Iggy. But in my heart I couldn't help but let Genzy take over just a bit... perhaps because their relationship was the most cathartic for me throughout the entire game. Not only from an ace perspective, and how their scenes really let me let out so much of my feelings and struggles tackling my own sexuality. But also just the feeling of pure acceptance is something that melts me to the core. (Also pining. I'm very very weak to pining...). Something about these two has just changed something fundamentally inside me maybe LDKJAFSDFA So. Getting to finally bring them together for good did things to my heart that I may never recover from 🤣🤣🤣 I feel like I could write them falling in love in a million different universes and I would never get tired of it. (Hence why I constantly have different semi-AUs of them playing out in my head at any given time LKDJAFDS)
"I hope you can tell I loved it, and them, with all my heart!" --> I CANNNNNNNN GODDDDDDDDDDDDD everything you've written here... I don't even have the words to respond.... but like.... thank you for putting into words so many of my own thoughts about them and like, their dynamic and the build-up and everything. I've never been good at describing why I write things the way I write them. Because so much of what I do is just based on vibes in the moment. What feels right. But reading everything you've written about their relationship and what it needed and how it culminated feels so incredibly right and in-tune with my thoughts and vibes for why things happened the way they did lakdsjfad Reading it both made my heart twist while also making me smile so much HHHHHHHHHH 😭💕
"That got super long, and I hope it's not too much," --> IT'S NOT TOO MUCH AT ALL. IT WAS WONDERFUL. AND I AM SUPER TOUCHED AND HONORED. I feel like my own response doesn't come close to getting across my sheer feelings at reading what you wrote, but please know that I was incredibly moved. And I'm so appreciative and touched that you would take so much time to write all that out!!! Thank you so so much!! For playing the game. For loving the chars and their stories. For writing down all your thoughts. It really means the world. I can't thank you enough!! I need to go decompress now... LKDSJLFAKSDJFLAKD 🤣💕