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(4 edits) (+1)

I am finally back and actually managed to sob (My heart turns to stone for a day after finishing something, and THEN I cry) so now I am ready to pour love all over this game!


!SPOILERS!




Firstly, I played through everything (Leaving Genzou's route for last because I wanted to end on my fav) and for the story, MY GOSH.

I adored everyone being back together, and finally realizing how much they've been neglecting Bucks, who somehow went from the littlest one of them (Complete with Gidget "protecting" her in the beginning from Genzou's crassness) to becoming the big, strong one that got shoved the responsibility of "protecting" them. I loved how it was never anything spectacular, or horrific, but her response was still just as upset at the expectations thrust upon her. The whole situation is complete when you realize in Arcs 3 and 4, Bucks just...disappears from mind, because they forgot about her. In that way, it was obvious only words from Hunar (adorable flashbacks, btw) would bring her back.

And then...the tree and Saydie. I loved how in the realization that this terrible, awful tree smells sweet made me feel like it was a Venus Fly Trap. Guiding children in to feed it wishes, and then kicking them out when their lives became difficult and "not innocent" (And judging them by completely arbitrary standards that are unfair to people growing up or going through life).

And then Saydie and the field was honestly where I teared up. That Iggy could never allow himself to have the same enjoyment as them all, and their frankly innocent wishes, followed by making a decision for himself (I found it a really nice thing that making himself happy was not exclusive to helping support the others in their happiness, heck, even IGGY seemed to think his happiness was exclusive to theirs, which was just untrue) And then destroying that terrible tree (I wonder if its gone for good, especially since the book is now blank).

I honestly wasn't expecting the time loop to loop back into their childhood, but my surprise didn't supersede my enjoyment. I love that they only get this opportunity to start again AFTER they've made the decision to be better to each other, and no sooner, so it feels like a reward for their efforts, and just a final wish to ease the journey (cause I believe they could have fixed their relationships, but I'm glad they got a chance to take kinder actions). Obviously, I'm super glad they remember as well (even if not in their head all the time) and this influences their actions beyond this point, but never making it perfect (Orlam still had his rough childhood, Genzou had his accident, Gidget still had a tough self-discovery), just better. Being ACTUAL friends to each other (now I just wanna write fanfics of the "better" actions that the others took, if only cause we only explicitly see Iggy's choice changes...and ships, cause that fuels me and I wasn't expecting to get so much material  + poly implications with some parts!?!?). Cecil and Jerry making it into the real world was a happy surprise, that just makes me think reality had to rearrange itself without the tree, which is always fun.

Them crying together nearly killed me, though, such a good catharsis and I felt a good way to SHOW how this would still affect them (along with all of them seeing each other's pain in the moment).

Speaking of ships, the SCENES and ENDINGS. Strap in, cause here's where I get rambly. I played them in order of Orlam -> Neutral -> Gidget -> Genzou, so I'll speak in that order.

Orlam's was incredibly sweet, along with the typical Orlam flavor. I liked how he views his actions in Wonderland as disconnected compared to Gidget, as he has a stronger grasp on who he is. The dynamic is very cute, with the fast paced dance and talking finally easing down into a dance that's much slower and more comfortable, as he honestly knows Iggy enough to know he'd appreciate that.

 The cgs were beautiful mirrors to their previous interactions: from a "ballroom dance" to a quiet, loving dance in a solitary cabin. Curled up on a small, humble bed (almost reminiscent of Iggy's childhood bed, where he planted the idea of "making their own rules") together rather than a grand, royal thing, and just so, so intimate. So glad I got to see it first, to clarify Orlam logically knew his friendships were there, but couldn't emotionally reconcile everything at the moment. And then the ending! It was cool to see Iggy's path change to accompany Orlam, and their dynamic never quite "fitting in" with others, while still caring a whole lot for each other. Funny that Iggy never seemed to realize their relationship had formed until Orlam started becoming far more affectionate, but that's just Iggy! The rabbit next to Saydie was adorable, and since the rabbits were Orlam's "family" down in Wonderland, a good representation of their relationship never quite fitting into anything besides "cares for each other".

It did hurt seeing the other's reactions though, but I feel it helps the theme. An imperfect thing, or an unhappy thing, was not going to destroy the friendship or chance of happiness.

I played the neutral ending next, and the ending cgs were really cute in detailing how Iggy reached out to the others more in friendship (The clubbing cg was hilarious), and then the connection to OC was very cute!

I'm always pleasantly surprised by Gidget, but never know what to expect, so I did them next. Their fear of their actions being their "true self" was a great contrast, and made complete sense, given they barely know who they are right now. Their feelings of wishing they could have figured this out sooner, along with Iggy, were just achingly familiar in alot of ways I imagine many people feel. Iggy also finally KNOWING what Gidget means also felt a nice contrast from their childhood, where he tried comforting them but couldn't actually understand WHAT he was comforting them from. Sleeping outside (though it froze them up good) was incredibly sweet, and having them so CLOSE (when in Arc 4 Iggy had to turn away from them, he was so ashamed by their reaction) was a great culmination. For their ending, I of course have to bring up the triple kiss. As funny as it is, it feels like a confirmation Gidget isn't letting the expectations of what's "normal" hold them back anymore, even if they shocked everyone but Cecil in the process. All in all, Iggy and Gidget felt like the most "new" relationship, as they had to figure themselves out in a way that never happened before, as so the hackathon trophy next to Saydie feels a great representation of that.

And...oh boy, GENZOU. I'm so glad I left him as my final choice to end off on, cause I adored him and Iggy so much, and it felt right. Sorry, gonna ramble a bit. Genzou always felt like the one who avoided intimacy the most with Iggy, despite how close they got and how much he became a comfort to Iggy, like he thought he'd ruin it (crossing his arms and staying still on the boat, having to think a moment to even hug Iggy, breaking away from the second kiss the moment he feels something's wrong), so it felt right that Iggy had to be the one to push for this kind of closeness. Iggy refusing to become Genzou's only reason for taking care of himself was also awesome, as their relationship clearly led to knowing they needed each other, but that has no reason to lead to Genzou setting himself on fire to keep Iggy warm, but nor should that mean Iggy should become his sole reason for living (Both aren't fair to either of them). The apartment scene, keeping Genzou warm in the woods, felt like perfect lead-ups to this conversation, to really SHOW him neglecting himself out of self-loathing and Iggy really needing him to stop doing that to himself (it only really hit me that Genzou was choosing not to eat on a second day in a row out of misery later). I also enjoy that it was the only route that has an explicit "Love you's" traded, as again, it feels relevant to both characters and their problems. Iggy for finally WANTING something out of him, and not being afraid to say it and push the issue. Genzou for finally letting himself believe Iggy actually loves him, rather than avoiding the intimacy, or writing it off as something else (acting like Iggy's just tired at the rabbit warren rather than just accept he's trying to be this close). The verbal affirmation just felt necessary. As always, I see the cgs as beautiful. The clearly overwhelming kiss like their kiss in Arc 2 (followed by tears, nooooo), and then the warm "by the stove scene" (capping off my intimacy talk by having them be so close and on the same page this time) feeling like a mirror to them in the dark bedroom in Arc 2 and their childhood scene before the accident (which ended up a moment of shame for them both, tragically). I was just glad they finally both got their "cocoon" away from expectations, Iggy from needing to do something he's uncomfortable with to deserve love, and Genzou from needing to be "helpful" to deserve a relationship (I always loved the cocoon imagery and was so happy to see it used over and over, especially in an "our cocoon" sense). I hope you can tell I loved it, and them, with all my heart! Their ending was adorable, that somehow the anxious Iggy and boisterous Genzou ended up highschool sweethearts (I also loved the cg of them talking on the phone, what with lovestruck Genzou surrounded by the decidedly UNromantic sounds of the vocational school) and settling into a very cozy life of working together and helping each other rather than one trying to do everything. Capping off on Saydie, Checkers, and Oswald as a representation of their relationship both as a friendship and romance felt perfect (for them and the game in general).

That got super long, and I hope it's not too much, but I really wanted to let you know how much this game touched me. As an ace person myself, seeing Iggy go through all this and coming out ok with his friends and potential partner was a beautiful experience. I'm sure you're tired of hearing this, but the game was an inspiration to me, and I hope to make a game that touches someone the same (I wanted to make games, but this was the kick in the pants I needed). 

This was amazing, Carrot, and I'll continue being your fan for anything else you make (but please rest up and take care of yourself!). This Drakka is out and ready for life!

(+2)(-1)

SOB SAVING GENZOU'S ROUTE FOR LAST. Somehow that is so sweet to me... πŸ₯ΊπŸ’• This whole comment is making me tear up something horrible multiple times... ahhhh I'm trying to collect myself enough that I'm able to write a somewhat cohesive reply lsakdjfasd πŸ€£

I'm glad you liked Bucks's part. "The whole situation is complete when you realize in Arcs 3 and 4, Bucks just...disappears from mind, because they forgot about her." --> SOB YES. Like. They've always kinda just treated her as this extra that mostly only exists when they need her. When they need her to be a "monster," whether that's protecting them or making them laugh or being some form of entertainment. Because even from back in school, the "love square four" were so wrapped up in themselves and their own complicated dynamics that they didn't have any spare thought to put towards Bucks and always just kinda assumed she was fine and would always be there. Which is really sad. πŸ’¦ And I kinda tried to mirror that in the structure itself of the arcs. Because yeah all the complicated convoluted dynamics and drama of the other four always takes center-stage because they can only focus on each other and their own issues and forget that Bucks herself was the one who even started this whole thing to begin with!! 🀣

At any rate, I had hoped it would feel like "enough" for Bucks, especially since she (and Hunar) never got the same screen time as the others. So I really tried to put my soul into that whole part, between the action and flashbacks and cutscene. So I'm just glad if some of that could get across and still be impactful for her and her story πŸ˜­

"even IGGY seemed to think his happiness was exclusive to theirs, which was just untrue" --> GOD REALLLLL. Like even from childhood, his own joy coming from seeing his own friends happy. And how that would form his wish, which would in turn go on to cast this veil over his life. Constantly in pursuit of giving happiness to everyone but himself. Which is in itself an impossible task, hence the endless hopelessness and futility of the repeating loops lakdsjfalsd

That whole part was very personal for me and I had a hard time working on it πŸ’¦ And I got a bit worried just in general how people would respond to it πŸ€£ I'm glad you enjoyed it though. And also the whole part with the tree. And the ending!! (lol I'm just listening everything at this point alkdjfas) I think I was particularly anxious about the final ending and people's reactions. I knew no matter what I wouldn't be able to make everyone happy with it but I did what felt right to me and the story. I'm glad you enjoyed seeing how they all ended up lol. I feel like a big part of what I wanted to show with it was that so much of life is beyond our control and we can't blame ourselves for everything, but we can try to make a difference in small ways. And like. Showing how those small ways, even if obviously they didn't fix everyone's problems and issues, they helped give everyone more strength and support to keep pressing on and to find their own selves and their own happinesses.

LKFDJALSDFASDF WHAT AN ORDER TO PLAY THE ROUTES IN πŸ€£ I'm so interested in what order and/or which routes people will end up playing. Like those that want to play all, which order they go in. And those who only want to play some, which ones they choose, etc.

Sob you're the second person to point out the similarity of the bed CG with Orlam to the one where they were kids I HONESTLY DIDN'T MAKE THAT CONNECTION WHEN I DREW IT LMAO. But that is nothing new, I'm so often only pointed out these things after the fact LOL And now it seems so sweet to me and feels like it makes the final culmination of their dynamic even more fitting.

"It did hurt seeing the other's reactions though, but I feel it helps the theme" --> WEEP FOR ME TOO TBH. I knew going in that it would be hard to write the others' reactions, which is I think also why I tried to keep those after-choice scenes rather lighthearted. Both to ease my own heart, and also because I never wanted anyone to feel truly bad about their choice lkdjads But at the same time not wanting to just gloss over it. So I hope I was able to find a happy medium of still acknowledging the sadness while keeping it lighthearted enough not to drag it down πŸ€£

I'm glad you also liked Gidget's route! Their special scene honestly turned into one of the most personal for me. Hitting on some of the things you mentioned like wishing you could have done things differently, etc. And also I love how you mentioned this: "All in all, Iggy and Gidget felt like the most "new" relationship" --> because that's also so much how it felt to me. Like. For one, the two have not really had any chance to be with each other as "their true selves." And yes sure in their childhood they did a lot more before everything began changing, but so much of their adult life was spent behind masks, so it almost feels like they never truly knew each other even when interacting. That and ofc everything that happened in Wonderland... like, I didn't want to just gloss over any of that either and say that immediately they'd just be able to patch things up and move on when clearly that would never be the case. That's a big reason to why I made their special scene less romantic in general and didn't include a kiss or anything. Because they weren't ready yet. They needed to meet each other again and re-discover each other and grow comfortable with each other again before anything like that could happen. Which is why I had it only be in the epilogue that things took a more romantic-ish turn for them again. Only after they were able to do things over and grow close actually knowing their true selves.

SOB I'M SO GLAD YOU ENJOYED GENZOU'S ROUTE/ENDING THOUGH. EVERYTHING YOU'VE WRITTEN HERE IS SQUISHING MY HEART AND BRINGING TEARS TO MY EYES????????? Out of all of them, I think the Genzou and Iggy pair will always feel the most special to me... I tried not to let this happen as I do truly love all of them to bits and I love love LOVE the different dynamics they each bring and I wanted each one to feel like a beautiful thing and a potential true route for Iggy. But in my heart I couldn't help but let Genzy take over just a bit... perhaps because their relationship was the most cathartic for me throughout the entire game. Not only from an ace perspective, and how their scenes really let me let out so much of my feelings and struggles tackling my own sexuality. But also just the feeling of pure acceptance is something that melts me to the core. (Also pining. I'm very very weak to pining...). Something about these two has just changed something fundamentally inside me maybe LDKJAFSDFA So. Getting to finally bring them together for good did things to my heart that I may never recover from πŸ€£πŸ€£πŸ€£ I feel like I could write them falling in love in a million different universes and I would never get tired of it. (Hence why I constantly have different semi-AUs of them playing out in my head at any given time LKDJAFDS)

"I hope you can tell I loved it, and them, with all my heart!" --> I CANNNNNNNN GODDDDDDDDDDDDD everything you've written here... I don't even have the words to respond.... but like.... thank you for putting into words so many of my own thoughts about them and like, their dynamic and the build-up and everything. I've never been good at describing why I write things the way I write them. Because so much of what I do is just based on vibes in the moment. What feels right. But reading everything you've written about their relationship and what it needed and how it culminated feels so incredibly right and in-tune with my thoughts and vibes for why things happened the way they did lakdsjfad Reading it both made my heart twist while also making me smile so much HHHHHHHHHH πŸ˜­πŸ’•

"That got super long, and I hope it's not too much," --> IT'S NOT TOO MUCH AT ALL. IT WAS WONDERFUL. AND I AM SUPER TOUCHED AND HONORED. I feel like my own response doesn't come close to getting across my sheer feelings at reading what you wrote, but please know that I was incredibly moved. And I'm so appreciative and touched that you would take so much time to write all that out!!! Thank you so so much!! For playing the game. For loving the chars and their stories. For writing down all your thoughts. It really means the world. I can't thank you enough!! I need to go decompress now... LKDSJLFAKSDJFLAKD πŸ€£πŸ’•