Hey, I remember reading this game page before while scrolling. (it was a long time ago and it's vague, but I remember)
I don't really have any objective advice. But just subjectively, I feel like what you put here in your 2nd reply to "The Coding Ninja" was more interesting to me than the game page summary. I feel like the game page's summary is too vague and you could convey more about the plot of the game in the summary.
Keep in mind this is just my personal thought though. I feel like a LOT of media summaries are too short for me. (e.g. games, books)