I enjoyed this story a lot - you did a great job writing Alenzio's voice and gradually revealing more details of his... particular situation. It would have been very easy to write a boring story that takes place entirely in the head of one character with no external events, but you kept me hooked from the beginning right through to the end.
The formatting didn't do your story any favors, though - it really could have benefitted from some more paragraph breaks to improve its readability, and if you'd kept the template formatting (specifically the font size and line spacing), you'd have more space to play with in that regard.