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Thank you for your feedback! I would have preferred to take a lighter touch RE: Orsinia's interactions with her advisor, but I feel that in a story of this length it's hard to find a subtlety that works with the pacing and is still picked up on by most readers. I was waffling on the time skip myself; do you think it would have been better to leave it out completely? Would that have tightened up the story while still making the conclusion, well, conclusive?

Thank you for your kind words and feedback! Can you point out some places where you thought the flow stumbled? I'm not that pleased to include asterisk-breaks and time skips in a story of this length (I mentioned that in another comment, I think) and I'd like to know if those are what negatively impacted the flow to you, or if the problem lies elsewhere.

Thank you for the feedback! I was aiming for "quietly-simmering resentment and rage" more than "grin and bear it"; what sorts of fleshing-out were you looking for?

Thank you! I was worried about the section breaks (to me, that usually denotes a story that's just too long for the word limit) so it's nice to know it worked out.

I'm glad you enjoyed it! I wouldn't mind writing more Orsinia in the future, but it probably won't be for a jam: I like self-contained jam entries and I worry a serialized story might stray from that.

I really enjoyed the premise of this story; it feels like something straight out of The Expanse.  I can't help feeling, though, that the technical details you include (normally something I enjoy very much, and in your story they do work to establish the credibility of both the author and the characters) took up space that you didn't really have to spare. The climax of the story, the destruction of the "ramshackle rocket" itself, didn't carry a lot of emotional weight; in this case, I think more personal information about Jar and his crew would have served the story better than more technical information.

This one was a delight to read, and a real highlight of the jam! I loved the retired orc warboss (a strong way of differentiating the setting from its inspiration), I loved the ultimately-hopeful ending (such a rarity in these jams), I loved the phrase "you cleaved the skulls you were given".

It was spooky, it was ominous, you did a really good job of setting up for the punchline without giving it away. A real highlight of the jam for me. Maybe my only real dissatisfaction was that it was hard for me to see what made this a Grimdark Future story versus a Warhammer 40K story.

Thank you!

One of the best of the jam! There's a few places where it stumbles (did you originally write it in past tense and then change it to present tense, missing a few spots? Or is past tense just what you're used to, and it crept in through force of habit), but not in a way that impacts my enjoyment of the piece.

The character work was a real highlight for me; you created two fleshed-out (well, by some definition of flesh) characters and bounced them off each other with dialogue that feels natural and actions that feel believable.

I enjoyed this one much more than I expected to when I opened it. I wish you'd have put it in the template, of course, and it could have used another editing pass to fix some spelling and tense issues. But I really admire the story you chose to tell and the close focus you keep on the characters as you tell it; in telling the story of one robot, you tell the story of all the Robot Legions, and it feels very fitting that you treat your robots with greater care and attention than some other stories in this jam treat their biological characters.

Thank you!

I'm glad you enjoyed it! I think having strong characters is super important in really short stories like this; you don't have a lot of room and you need to make your reader care.

One of the highlights ofthe jam for me! The premise was fun (very 'Edge of Tomorrow') and I really liked how the scenes you showed seemed to move backwards through the battle: it felt very well-constructed.

Thank you! I wanted to write something that was mostly self-contained, but still hinted at being part of something larger. 

One of the highlights of the jam so far - an imaginative premise that you executed well. Jonathan falling under the Saurian's sway as he powers up his implants was a great moment.

Definitely one of the highlights of the jam for me so far! This one stays focused and builds up to a satisfying punchline at the end.

Some things have to happen off-screen, I'm afraid - I wouldn't want to try and cram a whole battle onto one page.

Thank you! I've got a friend who uses fountain pens to write, and it's all I can think of when I see them: they're awfully sharp.

I'm glad you liked it! Meaningful character work is hard to cram into one page.

Thank you!

I respect the hell out of what you're aiming for here - I suspect it won't do so well in the jam but it was a real highlight for me! The switch in perspective at the top of the third column (right as Lucretius drops the weight) was a little jarring to me, and I feel like it would have worked better in the same perspective as the rest of the piece, but coming across this one as one of the last in my rating queue makes me very glad I'm reading every entry. Well done!

I enjoyed this one a lot! It felt very well-scoped to me, neither stretched or cramped to meet the length requirement. I wouldn't mind seeing some of the writing "punched up" a little (my preference is for more descriptive detail and sections of the story hewed a little close to "this happened. then, this happened") but your use of fragments at the beginning did a good job of setting the tone and the tight character focus made this a highlight of the jam for me.

The intense character focus and strong voice were the highlights of this story for me. Once you get into the action it flows smoothly and clearly, with the repeated "my own two feet" line serving as an anchor to keep the whole thing grounded.  My only complaint is the ending - I couldn't help but feel a little unsatisfied, with a fight still in progress, some space remaining in the template/word count, and the story not quite concluded. Still an excellent story, though, and a standout entry in this jam!

An excellent story, with a strong emotional beat that's so often absent from these jam submissions (though definitely in keeping with your entry from Writing Jam #10). You did a great job keeping me invested in your story while exploring the humanity of the Prime Brothers. Well done!

Another strong entry - you used the timer well as a plot device to punctuate the story and provide natural scene breaks! I only wish you'd had the space to finish the countdown - I can't help but feel that I just read the first 1000 words of a 1500-word story and I didn't leave it with a sense of resolution. It's still an enjoyable story, though, and your voice is crisp and clear as ever.

An excellent follow-up to 'Reflecting with a Red' - your writing skill continues to improve! I couldn't help but feel a little disconnected from your story, however; your idea was excellent with a strong setup for a well-executed twist at the end, but I didn't really get a sense of personal connection to any of the characters, or even a name. Maybe choosing a single person's POV, if not the hero then a simple soldier in their army, would help me feel more invested?

A very strong jam entry - you created a fleshed-out character and made good use of small namedrops and asides to show the reader that your story is taking place in a much larger world. Nice job!

Definitely one of the standout entries to me - you establish a strong voice for Haima, maintain it throughout the piece, and deliver a satisfying conclusion to an imaginative premise in a story that feels neither too long nor too short for 1000 words. Well done!

One of the standout stories of the jam to me - strong flow, good lines, and bravely tackling one of the pivotal moments of the setting! It did wind up feeling a little hurried to me, though - my suggestion would be to cut out a lot of the middle action, leaving just enough to establish the situation and the characters, and use the space you save to really give the arrival of the God-Queen the breathing room it wants.

I liked this one a lot - the rare Infected Colonies mention (with a sympathetic POV character too!) was unexpected and fun. 

I had a lot of fun reading this one - your flow is strong and your character voices are engaging. The ending leaves me confused, though -- I'm still not 100% sure why Archedes isn't reporting the goblin sitting right in front of him.

I was very impressed with the final stretch of this story - the truncated thoughts, your use of fragments rather than full sentences, it all served to underscore a sense of urgency. I enjoyed it a lot, and the only suggestion I have to really elevate it would be to use those same tools in the rest of the story as well. Nice job!

Glad you liked it!

Thank you!

Thanks for your kind words! It's always difficult to fully realize a culture in just a thousand words, and I'm glad it landed for at least one reader.

I had to go back and check, but... that was me too lol

I enjoyed this story a lot - you did a great job writing Alenzio's voice and gradually revealing more details of his... particular situation. It would have been very easy to write a boring story that takes place entirely in the head of one character with no external events, but you kept me hooked from the beginning right through to the end.

The formatting didn't do your story any favors, though - it really could have benefitted from some more paragraph breaks to improve its readability, and if you'd kept the template formatting (specifically the font size and line spacing), you'd have more space to play with in that regard.

This was a lovely story! It's engaging and memorable, with a fascinating sympathetic take on the Robot Legions and some good metaphor work. My sole complaint is the theme: it feels like it was worked in after the fact, instead of being an integral part of the story from the beginning, and to me that's the only thing holding this story back.

This one was a fun read - having factions squabbling among themselves instead of being completely monolithic is always a pleasant surprise!