thanks I danced with him at the festival and maxed up his affection but still went home alone…is there any event I will know that I entered his route like if I don’t cure Thane he’ll ask to bond with me?
Honestly not sure😭. You might want to check the guide for the quests, and days where specific things occur, to see if there's anything you didn't do that could be causing you to get an ending without him. A lot of the story/plot relies around you fulfilling those quests with npcs before a specific day occurs, while also needing to max their affection out. So if you happen to do any of npc quests too late or fail them, that could perhaps trigger an ending you don't want?🤷♀️
Also, I do remember that these events play a pivotal role in being w/Arshem:
-attempting to tell him the truth during the first battle
-needing to have an angel fish? (that yellow fish) or two, ready for him for the full confession/truth scene
-needing to have touched the Siren Globe in the Headmaster's office
-Affection being high enough for him to "save" you after the sparring scene
-winning the missing cat quest
And making sure to pick the highest affection related choices during times you talk to him on or outside of dates with him (usually choices that allow him to be himself).