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There are numbers everywhere, perhaps take a closer look at dates and figure out who the admin is in the first place. Don't worry about being "locked out", the tries will reset regardless, so good luck!

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I give up. I've tried both day/month arrangements of the wedding proposal day and every day from the 16th to the end of February. Am I just not structuring the dates correctly? Do they need underscores? Should I be adding "JN" or "joana" somewhere? I feel like I'm being trolled and I don't have the patience to bruteforce a million structural variations three tries at a time.

Edit: Tried date/time of the first UFO sighting too, zilch.

You are correct! It is the date of the wedding proposal, try structuring it as just numbers, no spaces or underscores. Let me know if it doesn't work!