Please add an extra line break in between paragraphs. As it is I often can't tell where one paragraph ends and the next begins here, which leads to a rather awkward reading experience.
Also when selecting hair length, 'length' is misspelled on multiple of the options (specifically chin and shoulder length).
Also also see if you can find a native english speaker to proofread or something. There's just a lot of small mistakes that add up. The story is good, I dont mean to discourage you or anything, but it needs a lot of clean up to be as good as it clearly could be.
Got something good here I hope it gets the attention it deserves.