So so happy! I haven't been able to comment much lately but wanted you to know how interesting and fascinating this is to actually SEE this happening! Really nice to see your improvements and the changes you decided to make.
I'll happily keep supporting you and love the ideas we're already seeing here!
I don't usually see explorations of more "dangerous" kinks written so genuinely, especially from the perspective of the sadist of the pair. They felt very legitimately concerned and worried, exploring what it meant to be the one CAUSING pain, even if everybody is on board, how it can feel to have these thoughts or fantasies.
The lack music was really a mood setter, forces you to focus on the words on screen.
This feels very accurate to be on the Love/Violence Jam, a strange combination of love and violence being on the same coin, and lingering on the fear if one's love can overcome the violence (I personally think so, but I believe I'm optimistic regarding such things).
Great game! Checking out all your games and I'm loving them!
Ooof. I'm incredibly glad to find a game and ramble that actually explores the unfortunate reality that when someone hurts you, you don't necessarily hate them. And worse, that people will judge you for this, because if you leave an abuser, they must be a complete monster, or else why would you leave them? My situation and feelings don't match this one particularly, but the feelings still resonate, because it always feels the same. Feeling sorry for your abuser. Thinking you can make it right with your abuser. People turning their nose up if you DARE think about the abuser, or abuse, with anything less than revulsion, or even the ways you cope afterwards as if it makes you just as bad to do something deemed "distasteful". Sorry for the ramble myself, I'm just VERY glad to see something where, as you put it, the victim isn't just "ok" after leaving an honestly bad situation.
I am finally back and actually managed to sob (My heart turns to stone for a day after finishing something, and THEN I cry) so now I am ready to pour love all over this game!
!SPOILERS!
Firstly, I played through everything (Leaving Genzou's route for last because I wanted to end on my fav) and for the story, MY GOSH.
I adored everyone being back together, and finally realizing how much they've been neglecting Bucks, who somehow went from the littlest one of them (Complete with Gidget "protecting" her in the beginning from Genzou's crassness) to becoming the big, strong one that got shoved the responsibility of "protecting" them. I loved how it was never anything spectacular, or horrific, but her response was still just as upset at the expectations thrust upon her. The whole situation is complete when you realize in Arcs 3 and 4, Bucks just...disappears from mind, because they forgot about her. In that way, it was obvious only words from Hunar (adorable flashbacks, btw) would bring her back.
And then...the tree and Saydie. I loved how in the realization that this terrible, awful tree smells sweet made me feel like it was a Venus Fly Trap. Guiding children in to feed it wishes, and then kicking them out when their lives became difficult and "not innocent" (And judging them by completely arbitrary standards that are unfair to people growing up or going through life).
And then Saydie and the field was honestly where I teared up. That Iggy could never allow himself to have the same enjoyment as them all, and their frankly innocent wishes, followed by making a decision for himself (I found it a really nice thing that making himself happy was not exclusive to helping support the others in their happiness, heck, even IGGY seemed to think his happiness was exclusive to theirs, which was just untrue) And then destroying that terrible tree (I wonder if its gone for good, especially since the book is now blank).
I honestly wasn't expecting the time loop to loop back into their childhood, but my surprise didn't supersede my enjoyment. I love that they only get this opportunity to start again AFTER they've made the decision to be better to each other, and no sooner, so it feels like a reward for their efforts, and just a final wish to ease the journey (cause I believe they could have fixed their relationships, but I'm glad they got a chance to take kinder actions). Obviously, I'm super glad they remember as well (even if not in their head all the time) and this influences their actions beyond this point, but never making it perfect (Orlam still had his rough childhood, Genzou had his accident, Gidget still had a tough self-discovery), just better. Being ACTUAL friends to each other (now I just wanna write fanfics of the "better" actions that the others took, if only cause we only explicitly see Iggy's choice changes...and ships, cause that fuels me and I wasn't expecting to get so much material + poly implications with some parts!?!?). Cecil and Jerry making it into the real world was a happy surprise, that just makes me think reality had to rearrange itself without the tree, which is always fun.
Them crying together nearly killed me, though, such a good catharsis and I felt a good way to SHOW how this would still affect them (along with all of them seeing each other's pain in the moment).
Speaking of ships, the SCENES and ENDINGS. Strap in, cause here's where I get rambly. I played them in order of Orlam -> Neutral -> Gidget -> Genzou, so I'll speak in that order.
Orlam's was incredibly sweet, along with the typical Orlam flavor. I liked how he views his actions in Wonderland as disconnected compared to Gidget, as he has a stronger grasp on who he is. The dynamic is very cute, with the fast paced dance and talking finally easing down into a dance that's much slower and more comfortable, as he honestly knows Iggy enough to know he'd appreciate that.
It did hurt seeing the other's reactions though, but I feel it helps the theme. An imperfect thing, or an unhappy thing, was not going to destroy the friendship or chance of happiness.
I played the neutral ending next, and the ending cgs were really cute in detailing how Iggy reached out to the others more in friendship (The clubbing cg was hilarious), and then the connection to OC was very cute!
I'm always pleasantly surprised by Gidget, but never know what to expect, so I did them next. Their fear of their actions being their "true self" was a great contrast, and made complete sense, given they barely know who they are right now. Their feelings of wishing they could have figured this out sooner, along with Iggy, were just achingly familiar in alot of ways I imagine many people feel. Iggy also finally KNOWING what Gidget means also felt a nice contrast from their childhood, where he tried comforting them but couldn't actually understand WHAT he was comforting them from. Sleeping outside (though it froze them up good) was incredibly sweet, and having them so CLOSE (when in Arc 4 Iggy had to turn away from them, he was so ashamed by their reaction) was a great culmination. For their ending, I of course have to bring up the triple kiss. As funny as it is, it feels like a confirmation Gidget isn't letting the expectations of what's "normal" hold them back anymore, even if they shocked everyone but Cecil in the process. All in all, Iggy and Gidget felt like the most "new" relationship, as they had to figure themselves out in a way that never happened before, as so the hackathon trophy next to Saydie feels a great representation of that.
And...oh boy, GENZOU. I'm so glad I left him as my final choice to end off on, cause I adored him and Iggy so much, and it felt right. Sorry, gonna ramble a bit. Genzou always felt like the one who avoided intimacy the most with Iggy, despite how close they got and how much he became a comfort to Iggy, like he thought he'd ruin it (crossing his arms and staying still on the boat, having to think a moment to even hug Iggy, breaking away from the second kiss the moment he feels something's wrong), so it felt right that Iggy had to be the one to push for this kind of closeness. Iggy refusing to become Genzou's only reason for taking care of himself was also awesome, as their relationship clearly led to knowing they needed each other, but that has no reason to lead to Genzou setting himself on fire to keep Iggy warm, but nor should that mean Iggy should become his sole reason for living (Both aren't fair to either of them). The apartment scene, keeping Genzou warm in the woods, felt like perfect lead-ups to this conversation, to really SHOW him neglecting himself out of self-loathing and Iggy really needing him to stop doing that to himself (it only really hit me that Genzou was choosing not to eat on a second day in a row out of misery later). I also enjoy that it was the only route that has an explicit "Love you's" traded, as again, it feels relevant to both characters and their problems. Iggy for finally WANTING something out of him, and not being afraid to say it and push the issue. Genzou for finally letting himself believe Iggy actually loves him, rather than avoiding the intimacy, or writing it off as something else (acting like Iggy's just tired at the rabbit warren rather than just accept he's trying to be this close). The verbal affirmation just felt necessary. As always, I see the cgs as beautiful. The clearly overwhelming kiss like their kiss in Arc 2 (followed by tears, nooooo), and then the warm "by the stove scene" (capping off my intimacy talk by having them be so close and on the same page this time) feeling like a mirror to them in the dark bedroom in Arc 2 and their childhood scene before the accident (which ended up a moment of shame for them both, tragically). I was just glad they finally both got their "cocoon" away from expectations, Iggy from needing to do something he's uncomfortable with to deserve love, and Genzou from needing to be "helpful" to deserve a relationship (I always loved the cocoon imagery and was so happy to see it used over and over, especially in an "our cocoon" sense). I hope you can tell I loved it, and them, with all my heart! Their ending was adorable, that somehow the anxious Iggy and boisterous Genzou ended up highschool sweethearts (I also loved the cg of them talking on the phone, what with lovestruck Genzou surrounded by the decidedly UNromantic sounds of the vocational school) and settling into a very cozy life of working together and helping each other rather than one trying to do everything. Capping off on Saydie, Checkers, and Oswald as a representation of their relationship both as a friendship and romance felt perfect (for them and the game in general).
That got super long, and I hope it's not too much, but I really wanted to let you know how much this game touched me. As an ace person myself, seeing Iggy go through all this and coming out ok with his friends and potential partner was a beautiful experience. I'm sure you're tired of hearing this, but the game was an inspiration to me, and I hope to make a game that touches someone the same (I wanted to make games, but this was the kick in the pants I needed).
This was amazing, Carrot, and I'll continue being your fan for anything else you make (but please rest up and take care of yourself!). This Drakka is out and ready for life!
