itch.io

Wow, you are fast!!

Already planing the next game?  Applying for the position of “Personal Hero" here? I think my kitchen could work with one XD

"Flavour choices" is the perfect word for what i had in mind but couldnt articulate. 

I understand what you mean with uncertainty. I find myself more often than not rolling back in games with lots of choices. When i care about the characters that is. And the full sandbox audience is certainly a different one than the one for (mostly) pure Novels.

Kinda related to the eyes part, i have another question now. Only if its not to long to answer. Dont wanna steal your time. I honestly thought that you draw the screnes yourself with a little software assitance for skin texture and stuff because it would take weeks for a single szene otherwise. How much real drawing is it realy?

Thanks for the flattery XD

Thanks a lot for the fast and detailed answer! Oh, and merry christmas to you and your loved ones!!

I realy love this game. The guy is living the dream. Having a somewhat big goal in live, lots of girls he cares about (and provides for) and that care about him. Not just some shallow fuck relationships. Some rivals so it dosnt get boring... i think most guys wish for exactly that. Thanks a lot mate! Its just awesome. Even the choice of musik is fitting. A rarety for a ren'py game.

That being said, i have 2 minor points i want to adress. Hope thats okay.

First is the matter of choice. I can very well understand the concept of such a novel not having much choice. it usualy makes for a way smother story progression and less plotholes. And the first Rachel choice was pure Gold!! But a little something here and there would be awesome. Lets say the girls buy clothes and the MC/player can give his opinion on whats better. Or  why the given choice was better. The first option would kinda call for a extra render but the second one could be done with one or two lines later on. Either way, the player has some illusion of agency. Not necessarily on the story itself, that would be much more writing, but on the MC´s look on the world he exists in. 

Second would be the eyes in some scenes. Dont get me wrong, I love the character design and the eyes usualy look stunning. This game has some of the most beautiful chars ever. But from time to time, there is a picture were they look kinda off. As if the edge of the pupil looks washed out or something like that. Hard to explain. Its always the pictures were the eyes dont reflect. I put a picture with two screenshots in the post. Maybe its possible to "sharpen" the irises a little or put some "shine" or reflections in without to much effort? Hope that are the right terms. I tryed playing a little with paint to make the Iris circles a little more defined and to put some reflection dots in, but my skills are nonexistent. Sorry. 

But maybe its intentional, than forget everything i wrote ^^

Oh, and i have a little question. I noticed that you decided to give the MC a face in the latest update. Can i ask why that is? I had the feeling you, like most good game creators, try to avoid that. Always showing him from behind or with something in the way. But now its different and im curious ^^'

Sorry for the wall of text and the bad english. And thanks again for one of the best Adult novels on this platform!

Apart from the sometimes very bad spelling and some strange wording, I didn't find any notable errors. Dont know if its possible with game writing, but some (if not most) of the spelling might be fixable if you just copy the text into word or any other office writing program. 

Since this is a very, very early version of your first project, it makes no sense to point out the sometimes creepy facial expressions or jerky animations. You are probably more than aware of this yourself and are working on it.

And I'm a bit hesitant to criticize your game because I couldn't do anything in this direction myself. So what right do i have ^^'

However, what would be helpful and (as i hope) rather easy to implement would be a few tips on when (and probably were) you can meet which person. The neighbor, for example. Or the various teachers. You build a nice journal but its not very helpfull for now.

Hope i dont sound harsh or demotivating here! Thats not my intention! I see lots of potential in your game.

Im only a few pages in. The character design is realy good and i like that there are a buch of references to Popculture and even other games (even if the headmistress dosnt name the Twins), but bro, you need a proofreader. See example. I hope you find someone to help. 

And one from the headmistress