I like that you were able to include such an extensive loot table. For a setting that is regional like this, it goes a long way to adding a sense of specificity to the location. I also found the idea your encounter table interesting. Things like clams being run across (I assume these are actually oysters due to the pearls) rather than just monsters/npcs was nice. If I had one critique, it was for the merfolk. The key element to the story is people getting turned into them, but in the meat of the adventure, it seems to indicate they are unaware of ever having been human. Are they a separate group of merfolk serving the Naga or people whose memories have been lost to the transformation? Perhaps I missed it as I have been reading quickly to get all of the reviews in on time.
Not going to lie, whenever I read flying monkeys anywhere, I immediately think of the Wizard of OZ. Just something that happens. Overall a clean product with a solid compilation of information to work with. If you ever go to revise or expand this work, I would suggest adding more to develop the local dealings with the place and the researchable background. Then again, that's the kind of stuff I find myself drawn to. There's nothing at all really missing.
This one certainly leaned into the cover illustration. The perpetual light/perpetual darkness elements felt a little out of place to me, but I do see why they were added. The inclusion of lots of maps was a nice choice, but the three wilderness ones felt arbitrary, as a simple encounter table would have been enough without having to draw them. Regardless, I applaud your including multiple locations to explore as a way of making this small adventure a bit more expansive. I also appreciate that not everything has been answered for you, letting a GM fill in the blanks for their own world
I like the idea of making the darkness suddenly come to the players, as they may not be prepared. I also like that there's a hook for an unrelated adventure in the nature of how the eclipse occurred. It seems like there's a lot to do with this adventure, not forcing anything too hard to handle as it ramps up. I will say that the choice of layouts made it feel a bit 'wall-o'-text to me however.
Overall, this has the feel of the supposed panic from the 'War of the Worlds' broadcast with everyone acting crazy and the otherworldly beings playing silly (and sometimes deadly) games. A nice little stack of ideas for adding to a game, though probably not suited for 'extremely serious' game tables where the playful nature might not fit well.
I'll be honest, I felt a little torn on the demon kitties. I immediately thought of an old cartoon when baby kittens being all sweet, but turning evil whenever someone wasn't watching them. Once I found the inspiration, it made more sense, but I think for the tone of the rest of the work it might have been better to just call them Demon Cats or maybe just Familiars. That said, it was very clear how the covers inspired the work and there was nowhere that I felt like I had to wonder too hard about what was going on. I think the random element to entry guardians felt a bit unnecessary, but didn't really detract from anything.
I was really happy with the color coded/adaptive element myself. Thanks for taking the time to read it. I had to make a call on the map between a simpler map with more hand-holding or a map with everything mostly on it, but relying on the reader to have the core book for rolling the random things needed and/or referencing the creatures listed. It was a hard call, but in the end I wanted that longer map.
You're not the only one who questioned the Merchant. I am feeling more and more like I should have found a way to explain its inclusion in the document itself rather than just adding it and commenting on the author note page linked at the end.
Thanks. I was fighting time and didn't have the time to rescan/color the map when I realized how it compressed into the PDF. As to the merchant, I wasn't able to include much commentary due to space limitations, but I had a solid reasoning to add it as a way to expand options and enhance elements of the adventure. I wanted to offer more options on how to resolve things for those who didn't decide to seek out the ruins. If you're interested in more information, I included a link at the end of the document to a page where I discuss at length some of my decisions such as the inclusion of the Merchant Class.
