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You just need to initiate the sex with the female -- that is, the female has the book/position and uses it to then select a male/futa to act as donor.

I agree with everything you wrote except I think the starting companions of a bound hobgoblin and imp is cool. I'd like to add that the perhaps adding special invaders, like thieves who can bypass traps, paladins resistant to lust, sorcerers who conjure an antagonist to fight for and before them, and I am sure we can think of many more varieties to spice things up in the later stages.I also think the invaders should avail themselves of whatever the room they are in has when they win combat -- healing & bandages in infirmary, food in farm, gold in gold mines, etc. just like they do in the stockroom. Right now I am running 3 thematic dungeons: en elven, a koboldian, and a cyclopean dungeon. Each built around a theme and very different from each other. With the addition of more types of rooms more thematic dungeons can be devised.

If you stun them first by any of the various means (flash, greater flash, bash, etc) then they will not attack you after the sex act is finished.

This game has a bright future! I had a ton of fun creating a 110-room, 190-resident Pervy dungeon. All residents of the dingeon were Pervy, so there was a rolling orgy wandering about all the time. But the game started getting glitchy at that point, and crashing when an event happened. Deleting most of the non-essentials from my stockpile helps maintain game stability. Now I am working on an Adventurer dungeon with a completely new design. 

A few things:

Hallways: it becomes too expensive to make hallways (empty rooms), perhaps put the rising cost of rooms entirely in the type of room, leaving the base, empty room a static price.

Dirty/Hungry: they need to start looking for food or wash-up earlier so they don't get stuck somewhere because they are dirty and hungry. I've had workers in a bath house get dirty, and on a farm get hungry . . .

Pathing: Sometimes wanderers want to go a certain direction where there is no path, and they will get stuck there. I had a group of 5 all get dirty and hungry in a room with 3 exits (including the worker there) -- when I built a 4th exit and cleaned/fed them they immediately went through the 4th exit like they were waiting for it to be built. I did not have any problems in that spot again.

Character List: Once there are a couple dozen characters it becomes increasingly difficult to sort through the characters to find a specific one. I'd really like to see a more spreadsheet like presentation where we can sort characters by name and several identifying features and traits. Being able to click on a character in the dungeon view to open their page would be extremely helpful! Also if a character's name appeared when the mouse hovered over them would be helpful also.

I gotta say: I can't stop playing it! I think you have a winner here. Thank you!