itch.io

thank you so much for taking the time to write me this comment! :') i had full intention of picking up this project again after the game jam, but the more time that passed after i published it, the more i began to doubt myself, and my story writing... i was finding that my aspirations for the game were starting to get so big, that the idea of working on it again became daunting. (not the first time that's happened and won't be the last!) I think there's still a little hope for it though - i think about it occasionally and have had some ideas on how i might progress forward with it if i got the chance. my original story idea needs some workshopping, and i'd say my ~visual eye~ has developed since then so it'd need some art upgrades. but my hope is that maybe i will one day find the time to wrap it into a neat, short, but finished game. thank you again for writing this totally sweet and thoughtful comment, it was a really nice surprise when opening itch after a long time. 

(p.s. i actually dropped in because i've been working on another visual novel that i'm aiming to finish + publish here in a month or two! i've been working on it a lot longer than i ever did on Star of Mine, and i think it'll show haha :D it's a fantasy fairytale story about two sisters. if you like that sort of thing, then i hope you'll stay tuned...!)

This VN is simple and clean, fairly lengthy, and the characters are all unique. It’s clear that real world experiences inform the characters, so the dialogue feels honest and mature. A lot of thought went into both sides of the character's discussions of shoujo anime, it’s definitely written by someone who is strongly passionate and knowledgable about the subject matter.

One thing… The game really does feel like watching two people argue about anime, and unfortunately, that’s kind of to its detriment sometimes. If you’ve ever had to watch two people talk about the details of a show you haven’t seen, you’d know that it’s hard to stay interested or feel engaged with the conversation. It feels similarly when Riley and Hana argue, making a lot of thinly veiled references to real-world anime. I’m a fan of shoujo anime, so I’ve seen and recognize some of the shows they talk about, but for every reference I didn’t get, it felt like I was missing important context for their in-depth conversations. 

For that reason, I found myself wondering how much longer it would be until the game would get back to the story. It’d be cool to see more interactivity in the game overall, or a B-plot that's more about Mona’s life outside of the club to break up the arguments and keep the pace moving forward. 

With the knowledge that it was a 2 month game jam game, it’s quite impressive, and it seems like the creators had fun making it!

UPDATE: I have found a writing partner! Thank you for your consideration. I hope you'll follow our progress if you're interested.

Hi, I'm an artist who uses Ren'Py, and I'm looking for a game jam partner that can write a script for a short visual novel. I want to make a story game, and I'm able to do all the art and programming myself, unfortunately I'm not the best at writing fiction. Details of what I'm looking for:

• Genre:  fantasy, fairytale-esque, whimsical, maybe mysterious or spooky if you prefer. The story is totally up to you. It can be a dating game, but I'd prefer if it was mostly narrative driven and not just dating.
• Length:  It should be a very short and simple story so we can finish making the game in time. Visual novels are mostly character dialogue, with some narrated moments. I would like there to be a few choices the player can make that lead to two or three different endings.
• Time Frame:  The Devtober game jam lasts from Oct. 1 to Oct 31, but I'll need the script basically complete around October 26ish so I can implement it in the game. It know it's a very short time; again, I'm just expecting to make a short simple game.

The game will not be for sale, this is just a fun challenge to participate in. Your writing skill is not a concern, amateurs are most welcome. As long as I don't have to come up with a story, I'll be happy! It would be great if you're already familiar with what a visual novel is and understand what I mean by narrative branches/different endings. If you're not, I can explain in more detail if you're still interested.

Leave a comment here with contact info, or get at me on Discord:  dovesandroses #2750

Thanks for reading!   -Rachel

Below is an example of what the art could look like for the game! (throwaway characters/setting, not relevant to final)

UPDATE: I have found a writing partner! Thank you for your consideration.

Hi, I'm a 2D artist who has always wanted to make a complete game. I have Ren'Py (visual novels/kinetic novels/dating sims) and have dabbled with it enough that I could make a simple game with some story branches, and maybe a few creative interactive moments. I've been thinking about joining Devtober, the only issue is.. 

I want to make a story game, but I'm terrible at writing fiction!

So ideally, I'd love to work with a partner who would like to write the script for a visual novel. You would have control over the story, but I would prefer it was in the general genre of art I like to make - fairytale inspired, whimsical, possibly mysterious, maybe a bit girly. 30-ish days is not long, so for both our sakes the story will need to be quite short and simple so we can finish it on time. Your writing ability is not too much of a concern to me; as long as I don't have to write, I'll be happy! I can handle all the coding with Ren'Py, unless you want to do the programming AND writing. If that's the case, I'd still be interested in providing the art for your game, given that it suits the previous criteria.

If you or someone you know might be interested in being my jam partner, please let me know ASAP and we can talk more about it. Lastly, I'll say that I'm not trying to make the most polished, perfect final product. I'm just looking to have fun and try my best to make a lil' game with someone :) 

Below are some rough examples of my art to give you an idea of what the game could look like. I don't intend to use any of these in the game, they're just random settings/characters.

-Rachel

this game really motivates me to work on my own visual novel! it was very sweet :)

@sillylyn thank you so much for this tip. i got the itch.io app and tried it, and the saving now works fine! I really appreciate that you took the time to help me.

@Luka Simić  Thanks for linking me that! Things are working fine for now cause of the itch app trick, but i appreciate it :)

(edit: typo)

I'm SOOO glad that a Mac version was posted! I'm playing it and love it so far - unfortunately i've run into an issue: i can't save. 

i have been going to the journal, both in the bedroom and village, and it will open the "file 1, file 2, etc.) menu, but it wont save. i tried pressing Z on file 1, pressing enter, pressing space bar, clicking with the mouse, and it won't do anything. using Z to confirm has been working with everything else, but not saving :/ I've tried selecting other files slots and tried restarting, and it doesn't change.

does anyone else have this problem? am i supposed to be pressing a different button? i suppose it could be an issue on my end somehow, but i thought i'd just mention it in case others ran into this too. Thank you for your time!

(p.s. maybe its also worth mentioning that the title screen didn't show any text? like,  the different options to select were all blank. i just selected the top one and the game ran. not sure if thats intentional)

I like the light theme too!

I'm contemplating joining but I am unsure of whether I'll have too much other work to do. I'd like to participate cause I recently got RPGMaker MV and would like to learn more about it. I'd say I'm more interested in the art element of RPGs than the stats and mechanics, though it'd be fun to come up with a gameplay feature that makes the standard RPGMaker a little more unique. 

oh frogfish, why'd you play me like that X_X i should have brushed up on my marine biology..! Anyway, this is a really cool concept and I'm excited to see more updates! Nice work!!

Ahh thanks for your interest and good vibes!!! Yeah, right now it's just about nothing, but I hope to keep chugging and make something that's a little more playable and sleek asap. I would've honestly not posted anything if it weren't for a jam, plus having a bad version out motivates me to work quicker to replace it with something better haha.

ps. I love your work on Disaster Log C, it makes it a model of visual novel excellence I'm Just Sayin' >//0//< looking forward to seeing more of your projects!!

Oh wow, sure!! I'm new to this too so its ok. I like your music! I particularly like Long Days/Pleasant Nights, Summer Donna, and Town. :) Just as a heads up, the kind of game I'm thinking of making is going to be a game about the anime characters that elementary school girls come up with. So all in all, it'll be a very lighthearted, kooky, magical pink game. If that interests you, I'd just love to have some of your music in the game. (plus it would save me some time to focus on the art hehe) ((But if for some reason you changed your mind that's okay  just let me know))

Thanks for reaching out to me!

sure, if you want to! I don’t have a twitter personally oops

Hi everyone! I’m so excited to participate in the game jam, I love pink games! I’ve never actually completed a game before so I’m looking forward to making a short one that I can finish. (It’ll be a Renpy game)

I was wondering y’all already know if you’re going ro include any music of any sorts, because that part really stumps me as a musically inept person haha. I am going to try to make something simple in Garageband, but I don’t like how limited the instrument selection is, and I’m bad at composing. What do you guys like to do with music, make your own or get it from somewhere else? If you make it, how do you usually start to create a song? 

Looking forward to seeing what other people come up with for this game jam! n__n

-Rachel