Can't wait!
Sinnalier
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By the end I wished I could have told everyone to fuck off.
Even though it did give me more on this side of the story, it also made me more wary of both sides of the coin. As it only really painted itself as disingenuous and Ashley who seemed the most normal(maybe my definition of satire was wrong), and yet very preachy and pushy. Blair was crazy because I only wanted to buy 1 copy. CEO guy was being... a slightly more crazy CEO guy. JK was a very much of a caricature of herself... which seems to be somewhat on brand for JK. And the streamer guy who was preaching about charity streams and bought a car was just annoying non-character. I wish there was a third option of just use the charity with the game anyway instead of annoy me more.
Playing through it just left me more tired and confused. I think I got the bad ending even though it said it was the good one. My head maybe playing tricks on me again.
Sorry for ranting on you.
Not sure if this is a bug, but reloading after unlocking the chest in Layune has me losing everything I've obtained from it as well as the dagger that Kora's scout gives you. Basicly losing everything from a certain point.
I turned it off when I was in the tavern with Cameyo and Fendur if that helps.
First time bug reporter. v0.0.11
Second screen has a exception(Ignorable). Soft fabric doesn't trigger when learning it in Mossy Freshwater. You start with a duplicate of a loincloth, a glitch where if you try to equip or unequip the short sword and necklace in your bedroom on day1 it loops the first day text. If you try to equip or unequip in the shop proper then it kicks you outside the store starting the first conversation with Lothar with your inventory open and duplicating the sword and necklace.
And unable to progress into the first dungeon with General. Becasue of exceptions. Itch not letting me post screenshots.
I myself had already assumed that this might have been inspired by ToS but knew that it was different enough(in my eyes) not to mention anything. The UI was the obvious reason, but considering that this is an engine primarily used for visual novels and that to my memory Lustful Desires also had similarish placed/looking UI elements I think it's just happenstance and limitations of the engine.
Though I might be biased since I've sort of did something similar(maybe???) with something I haven't even released yet. But it is always a good idea to say something as soon as possible just in case.
Outland Wanderer X ToS X Lustful Desires crossover when?!
I played through Zave's route(v0.3) and I will say that the writing is a little amateurish. The writing flow was was sorta like a game of tug-a-war. I felt I was pulled in one direction then another in quick succession at times. Like bringing one idea up, then just as quickly throw the next one up without the ability to digest the first piece of info. Some of the sentences were redundant and oddly structured.
With that out of the way, what I read was enjoyable. And shows that you have much to improve, which will come naturally from continuing this or any other project within this universe of yours. Also I'm also an amateur writer so take what I say with some grain of salt. I might be using my own writing bias when playing so disregard what I tried to say if it isn't helpful to you at all. So, yeah.
So far your writing isn't childish, just not fully developed yet. (Maybe the only useful advice i can give: read out loud what you've written, if it sounds right to you or another person then it should be good.) Can't wait for the next update~!
Though I haven't actually played your game yet, I will say that it depends on context. Yeah, having characters that swore at any given chance does subtract to the piece. But sometimes having, at least, grown men saying anything other than a swore makes it strange and out of place if it does warrant it. A balance is needed. But sometimes it's just the wording that others might take offense.
Otherwise the excessive use of curse words would just make one sound childish, I agree. So I'd say don't take to heart those who think like that. After I play it I'll give a more accurate wordvomit. Sorry.