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Hi Monicre!

I’m sorry about the delay in replying, I’ve been working on future games so I’ve been distracted.

I am doing better now, it takes a lot of effort to be okay but I’m working towards it.

I’m glad this game could be a game that made you feel something like that for the first time. This game was pretty harshly received so I’m glad it has a place in some people’s hearts even now even if those feelings might have been negative ones.

The FEED store was ultimately the kind of place most people could go in and out of without really remembering it. It’s a liminal space, but Arle probably lost her sense of fully belonging to humanity on those trips.

I someday want to write a follow-up game about doctors offices and being trans but I freeze up often in fear of the reaction I could get. I haven’t figured out fully how to move forward with games but I hope that eventually when I release another game you consider playing it.

Thank you for taking the time to stop by and leave a comment. I enjoyed hearing from you even if my reply was slow.

Hi Future Ruins,

Honestly I’m not surprised that there are still therapists slinking around and doing stuff similar to “saving you from yourself” but I am disappointed to see that they’re still doing it. Nothing has changed in some ways.

For all of the progress we’ve supposedly had for trans people I’ve never seen gatekeeping therapists actually be held accountable for their behaviors.

Despite the lack of change in that sort of shitty behavior it makes me really happy to hear that at least one thing that has changed is you’ve basically been able to tell them to fuck off and still be able to access all the medical care you need.

You went through so much and it makes me really happy to hear you overcame it. I hope stuff continues to go well for you.

Thank you for writing.

P.S. Please excuse any awkwardness, I am really tired as I write this.

Hi Ezra!

Thank you for your kind words. I think you got exactly what I was going for with this game.

The original game had some parts cut from it that would’ve expanded it a bit more around the concept of passing and mind reading.

I hope some day to return to the ideas in this game and make an expanded sequel that addresses gender through gameplay mechanics again. Doing that is easier said than done though.

As a fellow dev I wish you good luck making games in the future. :)

Thank you for this advice. I think it’s really solid.

I’ll just keep making games. Hopefully that will be enough.

Hi! No worries, hopefully I’ll make a better game someday.

I appreciate you being honest. Anyways if it’s okay with you I would appreciate some advice.

What do you think makes a game feel like an actual game?

Thank you so much. I’m glad you enjoyed it.

The game was made years ago and based off older experiences.

Things are different in some parts of the world and even back then if you had money and the right location it wasn’t so bad.

It will probably be okay. I hope you feel better and found a good wholesome game.

Thank you so much for taking the time to play through all of my games including the rough flawed ones.

That’s pretty much the greatest thing any game developer can ask for is for people to care about their work.

I just wanted to let you know I really appreciate it and I hope that someday soon I’ll be able to share another game with you again.

Yes, I tried to write a form of a trans power fantasy.

I know it’s depressing but sometimes it would be nice to just know.

No worries, thank you for checking and playing my game.

Thank you for your kind words.

Unfortunately due to my nature as an ultra low budget mostly soloish dev I do not have the ability to provide music at this time. That being said you can always enjoy your own music while playing my games since they are mostly silent.

My hand hurts now. :(

I guess that makes it a technically accurate simulation of queuing but ow.

Imagine for a moment you are a player for the game and somehow it hit emotionally right.

You’re angry about injustices in the world, in your head you just played out a poor trans woman getting tortured and destroyed by the medical system.

Five minutes ago you might’ve been curious, now you’re angry.

The next thing you see is a review box on steam. Well, that rage has to go somewhere.

I made a game that makes people angry and all of that rage boomeranged back on me and hit me on the head.

Then since games can be played forever it continued to hit me for years - over and over - with each new player.

It’s counter intuitive for me to say this but it wasn’t that the reviewers didn’t get it, it’s that I didn’t get the nature of players and reviewers at the time.

When I made the game all I wanted was for players in a few minutes to understand how the psychological medical complex had hurt me. I didn’t think about players feelings of rage and where that anger would go.

The player wasn’t at fault as much as me as a newbie game designer not understanding them enough yet.

I wouldn’t say I am ashamed of the game, more it was a good experience for me to have as a developer.

I don’t know if you ever played HFTGOOM but that was built on a lot of lessons learned from this game.

I could have ended the game on a note of pure despair but instead I blatantly ended it by literally asking players to “accept me”.

I begged for empathy because I was at such a low that I couldn’t take another “saving you from yourself” anger mob but I also desperately wanted to be understood and accepted as a person.

Players were kinder to me as a result because at the core of it: players will mirror back at you whatever you put into a game.

x_x

Hi, it’s been a while and it’s nice to hear from you.

I’ve been really struggling this year, at the same time the recent launch of the Queer Games Bundle 2024 has given me a lot of joy.

It’s been extremely humbling seeing people return and continue to grow as artists.

A lot of us disappear but for now I am so grateful at least that both of us are here.

The ending. :(

I don’t want to see people argue on this game’s page.

Please be kind.

Thank you for taking the time to play my game. :)

(rot13) Gung’f ubeevoyr, cbbe guvat.

Really hard but pretty fun.

I couldn’t figure out how to beat it but I got pretty far.

The vampire/bunny/mermaid really helped me reduce the grind a lot.

If you are one of those gamedev types with no time then try this password for some good gear:

🍓🍇☀️☀️🌊

It’s not the max gear but it’s pretty strong.

I figured out the dog goes to the dog giant but does anyone know what you do with the mouse?

One day I would like to go back and finish this, unfortunately it was rushed out before it was ready.

The reality is that I’m not sure how much longer I can continue to make games. Currently there are two games I became a game developer to make, one was hftgoom. The other one is the current one I am working on.

After I finish that one I plan to return to this and finish it though it might end up looking very different from this draft as I will be a different person at that point.

I am sorry to let you down a little but im running into the limitations I have as a person so I’m trying to prioritize what I can.

This was wonderful and one of your best works yet.

It reminds me a lot of a book I read a long time when I was younger.

In it they stated that death was like a letter missing from a sentence. The sentence keeps going and the book is almost completely unchanged.

Nobody might ever notice the book if different but something is still missing.

If enough of them vanish at once the book becomes unreadable.

The part where HyperText wrote about being afraid to delete the text brought back that memory really strongly.

Thank you.

Thank you so much for your kind words and for playing my game.

Social anxiety + gender are really rough so I wanted to make a game about it that was less upsetting.

I’m sorry about the delay in replying. I’ve been taking a hiatus from social media for a bit.

How society forces gendered expectations is a kinda awkward, sometimes painful, absurd thing and I wanted to make a game about that interaction between the internal and external worlds.

I think it would’ve been wonderful to add sounds but it used a very early beta of GB studio that didn’t really have easily accessible sound functions… Plus I feel terrible for saying this but I’m a mostly solo dev so I haven’t really gotten sound down yet.

There are tree endings, here is how to get them:

* Talk to someone who misgenders you.

* Only talk to people who gender you correctly. 

* Do not talk to anyone who genders you at all. 

Tip for the “no gender” ending, the people who gender you tend to be the people closer to you. The exception to this is the person who is your crush. The passengers on the bus aren’t randomized to if you learn what they think on a playthrough you can avoid being gendered next time.

Safari unfortunately doesn’t do a lot of web based things in the standard way so support is broken in it.

Firefox or chrome should work fine if you have access to them.

You can also download the .gb file and run it in a gameboy emulator to play the game.

I’m sorry that I can’t be more helpful.

What platform or web browser are you trying to play on?

There are multiple formats the game works in so I need to know where you’re encountering the error to help you.

This was good.

Thank you, I tried to make a game the game cute because otherwise it would be too depressing.

I’m glad you had fun with it.

Thank you so much for your kind words and playing my game.

There is actually a hidden third ending but it’s a lot of work to find so I wouldn’t worry about finding it unless you are super curious.

Thank you so much for your kind words.

I really appreciate you playing my game.

This game is about as cute and fun as possible given the topic.

My games lean depressing. x_x

That being said I did try as hard as possible to not make it too depressing given that the topic was passing which is a super vulnerable thing for a lot of people.

I don’t know how you managed to do that. o_o

It was 100% meant to be an ultra secret that no one knew about except through rumors.

There was meant to be another set of endings relating to the ghost who would only appear via RNG and still be pretty rare. The goal of this was to create a sort of cursed gameboy cartridge thing where there was a whole secondary scenario that most players would never be aware of.

Sort of like an urban legend? Unfortunately it would’ve scoped everything up significantly so I attempted to cut it.

As I stated before it was tied to the code too much to be removed fully so in a way it did become an urban legend alongside the hidden fairy in the game.

Thank you so much for your kind words. :)

That ghost is a leftover from a early alpha that I tried to remove unsuccessfully. 

Completely removing broke the game or something. It's been a long time so I don't remember.

My solution to the problem was to make it so rare to appear that the odds are about one in ten thousand players will ever see it.

Somehow every year someone manages to locate the ghost and it always amazes me.

The plot to the sequel has changed a lot since then but you'll eventually be able to meet other trans magic users and ghosts.

The primary reason that the hidden ghost was cut was that encountering her dramatically changed the emotional tone of the game.

The prototype which changed a lot was that detaching too much from your body could make you literally just lose your body.

You would help another trans magical girl who lost her body.

Thank you, I struggle with compliments and do not find myself likable but I appreciate your kind words a lot. 

Medical gatekeeping is really horrible, especially when your poor. 
Every single appointment is just a brutal drain on your resources and ability to survive.

I am glad I could convey that even if it's horrible.

Does anyone have advice on how to get rid of the zombies once they start using the root user?

I regret that I don't have anything really clever to say in response to this but you made me laugh really hard.

Thank you.

Thank you so much for playing this to the end and then viewing the epilogue. 

Not many people have done that because it's an obscure game that upsets more to play and forces the player to do upsetting things. 

It's not my best work but I'm glad you experienced it.

I hope that you find a pathway to making a good future and it makes me glad to know you'll be trying. 

The future is scary and we have the power to change some things and make them better.