I thought i'd done a good job of catching all the typos, but just after I finished proofreading for them I fixed several sentences to make them clearer and accidentally made some typos which didn't get noticed until now, I'm also wondering if the British spelling didn't get mistaken for typos. I think I see what you mean with the sentence structuring, I often forget people can't read my mind and trying to look at it like you would shows me areas where things can seem off. The exposition was rough for me since I was working with such a short story and had to work in the theme, I think I could've done better with more room to breathe. I'm glad to see my rat people and sense of humour worked though, looks like the ideas are there and just need some better support.
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Major trouble ensues when the Elite Champion Major Squeakage infiltrates a dwarf scrapyard.