I think some games have spoiled us. Some give us choices or make us think we have choices, but not really affect gameplay. I can see how some divisive kink scenes could be useful for advancing the story. All of these choices require more artwork to support though.
I played Coming Out on Top before it was on Steam and they even had options for facial hair and body hair for all the love interests. It's just an overlay, but really makes a difference if you are into or not into that.
Dream Daddy decides not to have any NSFW visuals.
In Uncle/Neighbor, most of the sex scenes prompt if you want to be the top or bottom with this man and you can replay that chapter to unlock the other version of that scene. There are some scenes where you don't get a choice including a double penetration where you don't get to decide who is the bottom. This game also has a visual fetish element that's addressed in the story, but you're still going to get it in every sex scene, because that's part of what the artist wants to draw.
Freezer Pops released with only 2 love interests and 4 routes, but they tell you that up front.
In Robin Morningwood, the game asks you if you are top/bottom/vers, but only uses that information for your "battle weakness" and you can change it at some point with a special beer. However, you'll still get thoroughly used as a top and a bottom by the rest of the cast including by giant characters.