I very rarely leave comments on here (lurker grindset), but I just had to stop by and leave something for the creator and every collaborator. This is a genuinely really, really well made VN, and I haven't felt this invested in a narrative or this surprised by excellent character writing since Echo. Props to everyone involved, seriously, but especially to the writers.
The MC's characterization is handled with a sense of emotional maturity that's kiiinda rare in other furry VNs; his reactions to the events that unfold feel real and profound. Being essentially whisked away from the life they know and placed in a totally unfamiliar -- and sometimes very hostile -- environment is given the gravitas it deserves. It's exactly because of the traumatizing nature of the premise that the MC's willingness to form connections so quickly with their guardians is not only believable, but borderline necessary from their perspective. Who else could they rely on otherwise, after all? So yeah, seriously, I really enjoyed inhibiting the mind of a person who actually feels REAL for once instead of just an empty vessel for escapism and wish fulfilment (not that there's necessarily anything wrong with that approach but variety is neat).
The same goes for all the other characters. They're complex and flawed and -- ironically enough -- "human". The only character that felt a little out of place so far was the captain; there was just a hint of superficiality to her, as if she didn't quite occupy the same space as others and was there to address the player rather than the MC. Kind of a fourth-wall breaking vibe that I'm certain will make way more sense as the narrative unfolds. Oh boy I'm rambling
In short, kudos to everyone. Keep up the great work, y'all got something special here~
Xevier
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This one is suuuper adorable! Love how you replicated the artstyle of the show, it gives the game a really cozy feeling. I also really love the focus/emphasis on Grizz's figure and eating habits. Itch is full of VNs featuring characters who are conventionally attractive, some chubby/fat representation is very much needed~
The only criticism I could levy is that the writing can feel a bit rushed at times, both in terms of the narrative and grammar-wise. There's some punctuation marks missing here and there, there's inconsistent capitalization, and often the narrative feels like it's going at a breakneck pace. Maybe take a bit more time describing things or more thoroughly setting up the environment/situation so that the reader can better immerse themselves. Proofreading/revising/editing is half the work when it comes to writing~
But yeah, very fun and cute VN overall. Keep up the great work, can't wait for more to come! :3
This was a super fun little demo! Off to a great start overall. In a market full of horror and thriller visual novels, the potential of a simple feel-good experience is alluring. Can't wait to see what you guys have in store!
In terms of criticism, I have to agree with some of the other commenters that said that the MC seems to spend a bit too much time in his own head. I understand it's a personality trait, but cutting the time spent with internal thoughts and including more time where the MC is actually present in the events of things would make the intro more engaging. There are also a few funky lines in terms of grammar and phrasing, but nothing major.
Oh, and one last thing; Arty's sprite and physical description don't seem to match that well. He's described to be a hefty guy with a belly that gets in his way, but his sprite is more akin to a beefy bodybuilder with a bit of a musclegut. I'm not sure whether adjusting the sprites at this point is feasible, but making him less muscled and perhaps a bit more on the heavy side would help with that discrepancy between his look and physical description. It would also help him feel more distinguishable from Alec, too, who's the real gym enthusiast.
I hope that feedback helps! And in spite of these little issues, I'm very excited to check out your upcoming releases!