ignoring  testosterone/estrogen increases, meat eater is a way better perk  only losing 25 luck and gaining 15 atk but vegan diet loses 30 atk 20 def and 1 haggling but only gains 1 rhetoric.  does testosterone/estrogen affect scenes enough that I should want it better balanced or is it whatever and will there be characters romance locked based on these stats?

unrelated but I also like some of the perks like living decay and baptized in color and am curios if they will add unique dialog choices

I intentionally don't count exactly how many scenes they affect, but I can assure you, it's plenty for both testosterone and estrogen.

Yeah, character romances can be locked if you have too much of one of the two (for example a romance that would have testosterone checks might automatically be disabled if you have high estrogen, and vice versa). Don't take that as meaning it's better to keep both low though, as you'll be missing the higher rewards of the romances (usually translated in perma-stat gains for both participants).  Most h-scenes in the game actually have extensions with the juicier stuff and even more stat bonuses if you respectively have enough estrogen/testosterone.

Just pick what you'd normally want for your character, lorewise.