Penlight

A visual novel where you hypnotize cute girls and feel bad about it (in development) · By Angela DeMille

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Thoughts from a fellow Ren'Py developer

A topic by Purplehat Productions created Apr 01, 2021 Views: 1,239 Replies: 5

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Purplehat Productions3 years ago

Been thinking of making an itch.io account. Was debating it for awhile, decided to finally do it because I downloaded this game, and I am impressed.

I say this as someone who started making their own hypnosis/mind control themed visual novel in Ren'Py back around 2014. I got my game about 50% completed then had to abandon it because my character artist had too many other projects. So I have some insight on how much work you've put into making this. It's really polished. The artwork is very nice, though some of the backgrounds are a bit curious. I mean it's a little weird to see mid 2000's CRT and LCD displays in a game this new.

The story... I am still warming up to. I hated my first playthrough, but on subsequent playthroughs I found a more satisfying path. I have not explored all paths yet so, opinions are subject to change, but here's where my opinion on the story stands now:

You've done your homework on how hypnosis is supposed to work, and pointing out that the penlight overrides this. Very impressive! I have written a lot of mind control and hypnosis erotica, and I am impressed with your grasp of the topic.

You've also done your homework on Japanese schoolgirl Slice of Life anime, including hitting a lot of tropes I have seen in such anime... Height measured in centimeters, talk of a culture fest, set in a highschool classroom, cramming for tests, lunch on the rooftop... that school chime I hear in Japanese highschool anime... and the trope of still being in the classroom as the sun begins to set. Oh, and karaoke of course.

I find the general setting very stereotypical for Slice of Life anime, and I have to say as of right now I don't like Kyou all that much. He fits into the stereotype of a teenager with little confidence or social skills, but I do appreciate finding a path that allows him to develop and grow as a person, and get into something resembling a proper relationship.

I really like that you show how hypnosis can be used, or abused, and the consequences that result. That is what has kept me playing, and what got me to make an account and post this.

So I think I'll stick around. I think as a long time writer and someone whose worked with Ren'Py, maybe I have some insights or ideas I can offer.

Purplehat Productions3 years ago (1 edit)

So I've played through more endings and overall I like them with the exception of the, I think you call it the disillusioned ending. The one where he just dumps Nozomi because he got no challenge from her.

This ending feels like it needs work. The first question I had is why didn't he just hypnotize her to offer a bit of push back? In fact he could have spent the last 3 months tweaking her to be everything he wanted her to be, only to then become the dog who caught the car. He got everything he wanted, so now what? Maybe upon getting everything he wanted, he realizes that he didn't really want this at all.

A further twist of the knife would be if after 3 months of messing with her head, he's made irreversible changes to her brain, and the old Nozomi is now gone. And perhaps he's both too guilty and too cowardly to face what he's done and that's why he dumps her.

An even further knife twist is if he later spots an article stating she attempted suicide, but its left ambiguous if she succeeded.

Just my thoughts. Overall I really like the writing, but I think this ending could really stand some fleshing out.

ariadrakeblood3 years ago

Funny you should say that the Disillusion ending is the worst: it's also one of, if not *the* oldest. It's rarely seen updates, as Angela has preferred focusing on new content over re-writing old stuff.

Which strikes me as a good plan, because as the game changes through production fixing and re-fixing older content to keep it up to date with the latest changes will add a lot of extra work that ends up being cut in the long run.

Purplehat Productions3 years ago (1 edit)

I suppose that's one way to look at it.

Or another way to look at it is given that's the oldest and earliest ending, going back to it with a fresh set of eyes might do some good.

In any case Penlight has inspired me to get back on the saddle myself. I figure rather than talk about making a game, I might as well do it. I've learned a lot since 2014 so why not put that experience to work?

3hoursonly3 years ago

Wow, this in awesome origin story for the maker of another VN themed around hypno. I am glad you look this path and made an itch account.

Purplehat Productions3 years ago(+1)

So far it's going well!