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Unforgettable [Appetizer]

Unforgettable 4th dimensional bartending [Appetizer] · By Kalann

General feedback,bug and typos report! Sticky

A topic by Kalann created Jun 17, 2024 Views: 68 Replies: 4
Viewing posts 1 to 2
Developer (1 edit)

This Appetizer version is not the final game, but it might be very similar to what the full-game will be. Whether you’ve encountered a pesky bug, have ideas for improvements, or simply want to share your overall experience, this is the place to do it.

Also, there's a lot of text involved and different dialog branches and stuff. It takes a lot of organization to be able to keep track of all of it and make sure there are no missspelling and/or missplaced elements, expressions and things like that. I'm still getting the hang of it so please report this occurrences if you find one.

(+1)

Typo/grammar error: "Because I will answer to any question you might have." 'to' shouldn't be there.

Punctuation error: "It depends on how you define being alive" Needs a period at the end, since other sentences have one.

Typo/grammar error: "You might get the wrong idea when I say gods, since they aren't as humanity imagine[s] them." 'imagine' needs the s added.

Punctuation error: "Hmmm" Needs a period as well.

Word choice error: "Anyways. Remember how I said you are not alive in according to the human definition of life?" 'in' isn't the right word there.

Word choice error: (Player) "Why am I on in a bar?" 'on' should be 'in'

Word choice error: "So I told a friend of mine who works on in human research and they agreed to send an artificial human to my bar."  'on' should be 'in'

Odd word choice: "So it could be that they chose you because of your liking towards you enjoy alcohol." 'liking towards' isn't strictly incorrect but it's awkward wording.

Punctuation error: "Phew" Needs a period as well.

Typo: (Mixing tutorial) "The arrows at the sides of the bar point at the target ammount to pour." 'ammount' has one too many m's.

Typo: (Ingredient) "Vannilla" One too many n's this time.

Tiny visual error: The 'right arrow' on the extra ingredients selector, when pressed down, has some extra pixels on the right side.

Typo(?): (Alcohol bottle) "Absint" should probably be "Absinthe"? Unless that is a deliberate choice.

Typo(?): (Alcohol bottle) "Bitter Camper" should probably be "Bitter Campari"? Unless that is a deliberate choice.

Typo(?): (Alcohol bottle) "Apricot Brandon" should probably be "Apricot Brandy"? Unless that is a deliberate choice.

Typo(?): (Alcohol bottle) "Brandon" should probably be "Brandy"? Unless that is a deliberate choice.

Typo(?): (Alcohol bottle) "Frenet Branca" should probably be "Fernet Branca" or "Fernet-Branca"Unless that is a deliberate choice.

Typo(?): (Alcohol bottle) "Maraschina" should probably be "Maraschino"? Unless that is a deliberate choice.

Typo(?): (Alcohol bottle) "Tripple Sec" should probably be "Triple Sec"? Unless that is a deliberate choice.

Typo(?): (Alcohol bottle) "Creme Violetta" should probably be "Creme Violette" or "Creme de Violette"? Unless that is a deliberate choice.

Typo(?): (Alcohol bottle) "Charteu" should probably be "Chartreuse"? Unless that is a deliberate choice.

Word choice error: "That's good, I didn't want Last Word to leave you with a bad first impression. It's a drink I really like." Needs the word 'with' between 'you' and 'a'.

Word choice error: "Isn't that a nice story? It really fits to be It's very fitting as the story of a classic drink." General sentence structure, 'really fits to be' isn't really the right wording.

Punctuation error: "So I'm very happy to serve you this drink. Good choice;" Semi-colon at the end should be a period.

Missing word: "Here's your Tom Collins." Missing 'your'.

Punctuation error: "Hmm" Needs a period as well.

Punctuation error: "I thought that, since you ordered this drink, maybe you'd know something about it that I don't" Needs a period as well.

Multiple errors: "There are some hypothesis hypotheses for its history, but people coundl't couldn't even agree on the country it was invented in." Missing 'are', 'hypothesis' should be plural 'hypotheses', typo on 'couldn't', needs 'in' at the end of the sentence.

Typo: "And that is really weird to me. Like, The drink's name is a person's name." 'The' should be 'the', no capital T.

Punctuation error: "Oh that" Should be 'Oh, that' with a comma.

Clarity error: "Raspberry Juice" is "Rasp. Syr." in the needed ingredient list. One of the two should change to match the other.

Punctuation error: "I mean, there might be more history to it" Needs a period as well.

Typo: "But I remember looking it up and I it wasn't that interesting.." 'I' should be 'it', no capital.

Awkward sentence structure: "Explaining about gods to a human gods to humans often causes them stress."  Difficult to explain, but 'about gods to a human' is awkward structure in English.

Grammar error: "But don't think too much about it. Knowing that you are artificial can cause you quite the a lot of stress."  'can cause you quite THE stress' isn't right.

Extra word: "Yeah, you don't need to answer to that." The 'to' isn't needed.

Extra word: "So ask them away. What would you like to know?" The 'them' isn't needed.

General observations & feature requests:

  • Due to the pixel fonts used, I'm not sure if she's Ueda or Veda. That might be something to consider regarding font choice, but that's not really an "error".
  • The extra ingredients selector should probably 'wrap around', where you can select from the right of Soda to Sugar and vice versa.
  • I'm dumb, so I forgot "click the glass to end adding ingredients". Maybe highlight the glass somehow?
  • Since I got a Perfect drink without actually nailing any of the lines exactly, maybe they should be shown as highlighted areas in the bars instead of specific lines?
  • Getting ahead of things, maybe, but being able to see which dialogue options I've chosen before would be nice. Especially since the order in which you ask things can change answers, so seeing something I asked before show up as "unread" because I haven't seen its NEW answer would be helpful.
  • Another small Quality of Life feature request: having the dialogue replies be automatically numbered, so they can be selected using the keyboard numbers.

Bug: I somehow clicked Pour a second time as the drink was just already pouring (because I underpoured) and it caused the glass to disappear and I became unable to add anything else or progress. Trying to add an Extra Ingredient (a lemon, in this case) to my not-drink caused the ingredient to "spinning wheel" and softlocked the game. Had to force quit.

I didn't get ending 1 of 1, so maybe I didn't see all the dialogue? But this feels as comprehensive as I think I'll get. If you have any questions, let me know!

Developer

Yeah, I need to work on my english writing. I was worried I would phrase things awkwardly. I did change a lot of things but your comment just shows how it wasn't enough.

On this Appetizer version I found it hard to fix stuff after it was already written on the game format, because I wrote everything on the game format right away and it has a bunch of data mixed with the actual text. But now I'm adding some steps before putting it in game format and I'll use some online grammar tools and some friends to help me write everything nicely.

And the alcohol bottles typos. They aren't typos, they are on purpose. At first I was worried if I could use some of those ingredients names on my game, then I temporarily used remixes of the original names. Then I decided to leave it as that, cause I like some of them more than the originals.

It is up to debate though, if I should leave the fictional names for the ingredients or not. Cause I think there would be no problem on using the original names of most of them.

Developer

But did you like the game?

I did! The text will definitely need some editing passes given how central the dialogue is to the game, but the premise is solid. I'd want to know more, for sure.

The only reason I wasn't sure for the alcohol names is because a few were real, while the others weren't. I think the mix of the two is what made it feel "off", but it's not a big thing at all.