this game seems so insanely hard, I play on normal and at the point I am I can't seem to beat even a single common enemy or move forward with any quests, I'm not using the collar but I can't think of any way to get stronger (read every book I know of etc) there aren't any enemies to easily grind levels on either, and I feel really stuck, did I miss something or what, cuz every single enemy encounter ends with me losing or being left with like 2 hp if things go right

Are you using the workshop to power yourself up? Books can help but infusing materials is what really does the job of powering up. Level doesn't really impact power in this game much - the stat increases are minimal.