DISCLAIMER: 

This game is getting a new update and I can't imagine they won't rebalance a bunch of stuff. So, some of this stuff may not apply after rebalancing. Especially the guns, for a reason I'll explain in my next guide. When they do, I'll revise it.

This guide is assuming that you are trying to do a Triple Statue or Proving Your Worth run. This is my guide on which items to avoid getting and which items you should buy, assuming you are trying to use all of Japes move set and not do a Vore Only Challenge.

BEGINNER TRAPS: Don't use these items, as they are either Beginners Traps, or there are better things to buy with your Shinies and you should save your money for those; 

• Endosomatic Heart, a bleeding heart (why this is in the game when Japes and some of the ghosts are blatant voraphiles is beyond me.)  it causes you to "feed" ghosts when you don't struggle, preventing you from losing health, getting some goodies when you escape, usually some dialogue, and the ghost leaves. Basically a OHKO Extra Joy applied to one enemy, but forget about it, The health you need to trigger it is too expensive! You can take your left/right hand off the keyboard in the gallery, which in this game, is NOT the main content.

• LIGHT PENDANT, a blue amulet with a gold necklace; It makes you go faster in cleared rooms. It's okay, but it's not worth the other upgrades you can get, and if you suffer a blackout, you are either have a key, in which case you can just enter and reenter doors to despawn ghosts for a brief moment and get the fuck outta dodge, and if you don't have the key by the time a black out occurs, you probably shouldn't be playing on this mode in the first place. And frankly, this should just be a normal trait in the first place.

• POWER GAUGE, a little electricity bar, showing you a precise time limit until a blackout. Again, if you end up getting a blackout, you are taking too long or you got unlucky with the randomized rooms or trick doors, and you already get a bar showing you intervals, so a percise timer isn't worth it and is probably going to make you rush.

• COMFY BLANKET, a, blue blanket, causing you to get more health when hiding in a box. Again, the only reason to hide in a box is to lure ghosts closer or wait for them all to spawn, or Kamnspi, Friend or Bloombi is closest, and the health restoration is very limited. Not worth it.

• Lorenzo's Mask*, a mask that causes most projectiles to bounce off, including Fewmi's disgusting flames. What the bastard doesn't tell you (and what you should expect going in; some of the people working on this is from Japan), is that it breaks after a few hits, and no, I'm not trying to figure out the limit. It's good if you are going into the observatory, ironically bad if you are going into the Kitchen, because of Lorenzo's attack and the tomato trap (no, I wasn't trying to rhyme). Oh, and by the way, I haven't even gotten into detail about using I-frames. Bottom line, it's not worth it. It's the epitome of a beginner's trap since it basically strips you of one of your defensive options.

• ENCHANTED FLAME: Makes your flash larger and destroys projectiles; you shouldn't be using the flash to neutralize projectiles, and if you are playing properly, you won't need this, especially with the Gold Lantern. If it had some curse and lasted past a floor, "good", but it's not worth it in it's current form, and don't even think of using it in the Observatory, because that's just wasting money when you can accomplish the same thing with some enemy management,.

• PARTY HAT: This makes all enemies permitted to appear on the floor. Okay. I guess we are getting new modifiers in the future, because I can't imagine this is staying in the game in it's current form. It's useless, especially since you can accomplish the same thing by manipulating the enemy jsons. I can see if it made the ghosts that heal you appear more often with some sort of trade off, but without that, it's not worth it, especially on the Dilapidated Halls.

• NULL AMULET: Makes status effects wear off twice as fast, but makes struggling harder. It's nice for Fewmi's flames, which are sure to starve you to death or lead you to making brash decisions if your resource management isn't on point,  but again, there's more important things to buy, and it's already hard to struggle against ghosts to begin with, not to mention the fact that if you get hit with a status effect, you are probably 1 second away from being eaten anyways.

• SPIRIT HORN: A horn that that stops blackouts from appearing on the floor. Great for dodging the ensuing infinite onslaught of ghosts that hear its blearing! I shouldn't have to explain why this isn't worth it, unless you REALLY want to powerup your wand and you are sure you won't starve or want to make things even harder.

• INSATIABLE DESIRE*: A smiley face that gives Japes the ability to eat ghosts after he swallowed them (he probably isn't fond of stomach acids) and makes his digestion more powerful, meaning you can eat ghosts at higher health thresholds, and gain more health. But it removes your ability to siphon health with your wand. This basically weakens one of your core options since getting a wave clear provides ample health. Not worth it unless you adjust your playstyle in a way I can't help you with.

• RICH SIPHON: See, this isn't really that big of a deal if you are trying to get more upgrades, but it provides a chance of not getting you another "kill" in exchange for usually a couple of gold coins. In other words, once you get all the items you need, there's a chance that your kill will be meaningless. The only way to remove this curse is by getting "lucky" and looking at one of those evil statues. But that halves your health. On a challenge run where you are locked at 50 health. Yea, don't buy this sh*t.

• CRAMPED BELLY*: A belly. That makes ghosts hurt when they struggle to escape, in exchange for seemingly raising the number of churns you can do before they end up escaping and allowing Japes to keep them at lower health thresholds. (Why they don't just teleport becomes apparent later on.) Okay, lets go over one of the two scenarios; you are either all alone with a ghost, or there are ghosts in the room. If you are alone, you don't need cramped belly because you should already be weakening the ghosts. If there are ghosts in the room, you should be spacing out and whittling away their health until you can do them in with two churns, and in that case, you don't need cramped belly because you'll get eaten otherwise and lose the ability to eat that ghost. If you are low on health and trying to get it back by eating a ghost, you are taking a huge risk if you don't manage their health properly. Ultimately, due to the way you want to play the game, you don't need cramped belly.

• STAR SHIELD; It's not bad per se, but damn is it costly. Basically, a free Extra Joy every two minutes. In a game where you have like, what, 10 minutes before a blackout? Not to mention starvation? It's okay, but you definitely should wait until, like, floor 13 to get it. Of course, by the time you do get it, you are probably near the "end", and it's probably not going to be there when you'd most need it.
  

MUST HAVES Prioritize these Items, preferably in order from least to most important, if you can.

• DELICIOUS PERFUME: Doubles enemy kills and makes them move faster for the floor. If you are trying to get your wand upgraded to the third level, the highest I got to by the time I reached 10F, this might help, but only if you know what you're doing. and definitely not on Temple/Dark Halls. 

• REVENGE BRACELET: Since you may want to bump into siphoning ghosts or get eaten in order to herd them, this can certainly contribute. It's not much, but every bit matters.

• GREED CHARM: Doubles the payout of all Shinnies (that's apparently what Dwellers call money), but causes you to lose money, like 3 gold per hit. The loss isn't as much as Zahra, but it can still add up if you screw around. It's better than the Rich Siphon, because once you get everything you really need, you losing money won't matter all that much (It probably matters to Japes, but that's besides the point.)

• The Three Pred Items: If you can adjust your playstyle, I suppose they be good, since they make you a ravenous beast that devours everything. But this does require some intense micromanagement, seeing as how your wand won't siphon health, so you really have to have on point crowd control. At that point, you might consider Cramped Belly, but only to capitalize off of the health you get from churning, which is your only source of recovery.

• GUNS*: I shit you not. These cutesy characters be packin chrome. Lasts for quite a bit of time and kills ghosts within like 1-3 seconds, but you need to stun ghosts first, and it dosn't hit all of them, not to mention, you get no healing or satiation. The Shotgun's more of a panic gun, but the machine gun and pistol can set you up for combos, so the latter two are ironically preferable. The reason this isn't higher is because you get gun refills for the horde mode challenge statue, and I imagine that will be rebalanced in 3.0. When and if that happens, it'll definitely be higher on the priority list, as a Spikeout-esque Super Attack.

• FAMINE'S BLESSING: An empty plate. If I could only spend half as long without a meal and I was in a haunted house, I'd haul ass too. It says that it speeds you up slightly, but it's noticeable.

• ESCAPIST'S WILL: Make's you move way faster while you have I-frames. You have no Idea how powerful repositioning is when trying to herd ghosts.

• GOLDEN LANTERN: Gives you two flashes before a cooldown, no strings attached. This is a game changer, and it's hard to pick between this and the next. But you can only cooldown when both flashes have been used. If you have time alone but one more flash left, get rid of it and refill, maybe by doing a little combo.

• BROKEN HEART NECKLACE: Now, this might sound counter intuitive, but it's more of a Difficult, But Awesome situation. It removes the full health restores, which you shouldn't need because you can get health by eating or siphoning ghosts, and instead gives you either gold or a bunch of ghost kills, which improves the higher up you go. This means you will likely upgrade your wand and get a few of the upgrades on the list. Suspiciously Generous, considering the other items, but a pick is a pick. Get this as soon as you can, over everything else. Except for....

• DRILL*: Now, this item is a melee weapon and lets you pierce the heavens drill holes into the walls to reach secret areas and push ghosts back and do combos, due to it's magical properties, not to mention create a way of "resetting" an encounter in some rooms. Guess it's why ghosts don't teleport outta Japes. HOWEVER, there is possibly something that you aren't supposed to see in the Dilapidated Halls....and I'll elaborate on the actual guide.