How can I use the image assets and make them into a text font that I can use in unity? I just cannot figure out how the hell I can do this.

I found calligraphr useful for creating fonts, hope this works for you :D

https://www.calligraphr.com/en/

Same deal, couldn't make headway with TMP using the sprites or with Calligraphr (seemed not really what I was going for?), or with a post regarding generating font data packs from spritesheets that I read online. Instead, I started coding a way to just convert strings to the sprites and generate/manage them that way, but it seemed like it was going to end up being an inordinate amount of work for what should already exist and work (sprite -> font -> use it by typing).

I just want to make some wiggly fun text without 3+ hours of prereq. dev time :V

If I find anything I'll post here.

You can use caligraphr, but you can use your own too