I wanted to pop on over and check out your game. You should be impressed with the work you did here! I had a few thoughts while reading that I'd like to share with ya:
1. This is a fun concept. Cause, of course, every fantasy world needs a science fair! One thing you might want to consider - who are these people? Are they people? To me, they sounded like goblins or gnomes through and though - due to the blowing up haha. The more specific theming you can paint for the the reader, the better we'll be able to get into your world.
2. A few phrases stuck out a bit to me. One of them was "excited (nervous)", I might change that to "nervous excitement". Little tweaks like that will just help the prose flow better. Also spell check on "catastrophe".
3. LOVE that you can slot this into any other ttrpg. That's a very nice design consideration.
4. I'd move up naming the character in the order. Gotta know who you are to know what they would invent.
5. The drawing element reminds me of the board games Luck of the Draw & Telestrations. Both a lot of fun and I think it's interesting / fun to have players draw. Something to consider, what is the Judge judging on? A table of "The Judge is Looking For:" would be excellent here.
6. The Pit of Potential is absolutely great! The concept of creating things from a pile of junk excites me (also giving me major Junkyard Wars vibes if you know that TV show). It's great that you give the players Prefixes, Nouns and Suffixes on the character sheet, but I know I'd want to write in my own.
7. I'm not sure you want to use the dice to represent the 2-12 on the Pit. Unless we have to get those exact dice combinations. If that is the case, I'd have it be so that if you don't get one of the results - then you roll a Catastrophe.
8. I'd love a prize table! What are the stakes of winning this weird contest beyond the glory?
9. The look of the game is sharp. I might recommend lowering the font to give yourself a tiny bit more white space to play with. Trust me, I know how hard it is to fit all the things on a single page haha.
10. All the player powers are funny and thematically interesting! I might avoid the, you can automatically chose to have yours be the winner cause that's too powerful. Maybe have it be something like for this round there is a second prize winner and the points are split 1st: 3, 2nd: 2 & if your character specifically isn't chosen you get 1 point. Just check balance.
Overall, GREAT first game. I'm excited to see what you do with all of these really interesting design elements!
Once again insightful and thorough feedback. Thanks for checking out the game. I forced myself to only spend a few days on it as I have another game to build (4 month project) but I wanted to keep the creative mind going by working on something I have not before.
1. Definitely something to consider when I refine this. I wanted to leave it open for the current RPG the people would be playing, but I think I can do a thematic version for the standalone when I do update this.
2. Definitely needs editing there. I am inspired by Pratchett (clearly) so I should really concentrate on flow etc a bit more and will.
3. <3 glad that part came through well!
4. Definitely agree. Will help with building the mood
5. An interesting consideration. I wanted the Judge to judge on whatever they wanted. The name of the invention (ie what it does) to even the silliness or art if the sketch. Another thing I can refine for the standalone, but wanted to keep open for an event for an RPG
6. Something I considered and now wish I had left the other way. I was just worried it would take too long to have people write their own, but thinking about it more, especially considering that the RPG might be a world of underwater creatures, it makes sense to have people write their own.
7. Definitely agree, this was a design error. They are just meant to represent the total of 2d6 being rolled and I see now it is confusing. As for Catastrophe, it was always meant to be rolled after tinkering to see if the artificer tinkered too much or took the invention too far and it changed more than they planned.
8. Another thing to consider for the standalone. I wanted the prize to be something the GM decides and is based on the RPG they are playing.
9. Agreed, as a graphic designer (for well over 6 years now), I know I am going to redo the layout for this a few times till I am happy with it. I am going to agonize over shortening and tightening the text as well!
10. Agreed, this is balance checking and always takes a while with games. I just needed to quickly throw together a few characters.
Howdy, I think removing the graphics was a good move as all the info looks quite clear now! I also really like the idea that this can be slotted into another game or used on its own, cool stuff.
Thank you. It took me a while to realize what you meant about removing the graphics XD That panda face is just a watermark I tend to put on things that are previews. It is a bit over the top for this submission I agree though! Thanks for having a look at it. Hoping I can get a group of people together to try it sometime, otherwise I am going to have to make it some sort of digital game where people just take a picture of their invention they sketched and uploads it or something.
Comments
Hello GVR Games!
I wanted to pop on over and check out your game. You should be impressed with the work you did here! I had a few thoughts while reading that I'd like to share with ya:
1. This is a fun concept. Cause, of course, every fantasy world needs a science fair! One thing you might want to consider - who are these people? Are they people? To me, they sounded like goblins or gnomes through and though - due to the blowing up haha. The more specific theming you can paint for the the reader, the better we'll be able to get into your world.
2. A few phrases stuck out a bit to me. One of them was "excited (nervous)", I might change that to "nervous excitement". Little tweaks like that will just help the prose flow better. Also spell check on "catastrophe".
3. LOVE that you can slot this into any other ttrpg. That's a very nice design consideration.
4. I'd move up naming the character in the order. Gotta know who you are to know what they would invent.
5. The drawing element reminds me of the board games Luck of the Draw & Telestrations. Both a lot of fun and I think it's interesting / fun to have players draw. Something to consider, what is the Judge judging on? A table of "The Judge is Looking For:" would be excellent here.
6. The Pit of Potential is absolutely great! The concept of creating things from a pile of junk excites me (also giving me major Junkyard Wars vibes if you know that TV show). It's great that you give the players Prefixes, Nouns and Suffixes on the character sheet, but I know I'd want to write in my own.
7. I'm not sure you want to use the dice to represent the 2-12 on the Pit. Unless we have to get those exact dice combinations. If that is the case, I'd have it be so that if you don't get one of the results - then you roll a Catastrophe.
8. I'd love a prize table! What are the stakes of winning this weird contest beyond the glory?
9. The look of the game is sharp. I might recommend lowering the font to give yourself a tiny bit more white space to play with. Trust me, I know how hard it is to fit all the things on a single page haha.
10. All the player powers are funny and thematically interesting! I might avoid the, you can automatically chose to have yours be the winner cause that's too powerful. Maybe have it be something like for this round there is a second prize winner and the points are split 1st: 3, 2nd: 2 & if your character specifically isn't chosen you get 1 point. Just check balance.
Overall, GREAT first game. I'm excited to see what you do with all of these really interesting design elements!
Once again insightful and thorough feedback.
Thanks for checking out the game. I forced myself to only spend a few days on it as I have another game to build (4 month project) but I wanted to keep the creative mind going by working on something I have not before.
1. Definitely something to consider when I refine this. I wanted to leave it open for the current RPG the people would be playing, but I think I can do a thematic version for the standalone when I do update this.
2. Definitely needs editing there. I am inspired by Pratchett (clearly) so I should really concentrate on flow etc a bit more and will.
3. <3 glad that part came through well!
4. Definitely agree. Will help with building the mood
5. An interesting consideration. I wanted the Judge to judge on whatever they wanted. The name of the invention (ie what it does) to even the silliness or art if the sketch. Another thing I can refine for the standalone, but wanted to keep open for an event for an RPG
6. Something I considered and now wish I had left the other way. I was just worried it would take too long to have people write their own, but thinking about it more, especially considering that the RPG might be a world of underwater creatures, it makes sense to have people write their own.
7. Definitely agree, this was a design error. They are just meant to represent the total of 2d6 being rolled and I see now it is confusing. As for Catastrophe, it was always meant to be rolled after tinkering to see if the artificer tinkered too much or took the invention too far and it changed more than they planned.
8. Another thing to consider for the standalone. I wanted the prize to be something the GM decides and is based on the RPG they are playing.
9. Agreed, as a graphic designer (for well over 6 years now), I know I am going to redo the layout for this a few times till I am happy with it. I am going to agonize over shortening and tightening the text as well!
10. Agreed, this is balance checking and always takes a while with games. I just needed to quickly throw together a few characters.
Thanks for the feedback!
Howdy, I think removing the graphics was a good move as all the info looks quite clear now! I also really like the idea that this can be slotted into another game or used on its own, cool stuff.
Thank you. It took me a while to realize what you meant about removing the graphics XD
That panda face is just a watermark I tend to put on things that are previews. It is a bit over the top for this submission I agree though! Thanks for having a look at it. Hoping I can get a group of people together to try it sometime, otherwise I am going to have to make it some sort of digital game where people just take a picture of their invention they sketched and uploads it or something.