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A jam submission

Fragment Recovered From A Derelict Life Pod - OPR Writing Jam #8 SubmissionView project page

A clue in the disappearance of a Black Sky Line passenger starship.
Submitted by SupNerds — 18 hours, 2 minutes before the deadline
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Fragment Recovered From A Derelict Life Pod - OPR Writing Jam #8 Submission's itch.io page

Results

CriteriaRankScore*Raw Score
Overall#14.2124.212
Flow & Clarity#14.4094.409
Concept & Originality#24.4094.409
Adherence to the Theme#93.8183.818

Ranked from 22 ratings. Score is adjusted from raw score by the median number of ratings per game in the jam.

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Comments

Host

Congratulations on placing in the top 3 of OPR Writing Jam #8! To claim your prize, please reach out to us on Patreon.

Submitted

Heart wrenching!

Very well told. Great stuff.

Submitted

Okay, so you said you were worried about the low amount of ranking and comments. I had to read it and see what you created. I am glad I did. Yours is in the top tier for me. Original and a great climax making you feel bad for the poor folks in the story. Great story and enjoyed the format.

Submitted

Ewwwww. How grim... How dark. Great use of civvies as the lens for experiencing the unfolding horror of a grimdark future.

Submitted (1 edit)

Nice work! The tone of the story was laid down incredibly, just like your previous entry. You're very good at that. I loved what the story insinuates, it reminds me of the "moment of change" that can be found in 5 minute short films.

There are some places where the illusion of someone writing a letter falls flat, such as the scene where he's writing about the defense gun thuds. It damaged my immersion into the story, but quickly recovered.

All in all, I only have high praise. I continue to look forward to your next work!