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Were the sounds in your game original?

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Check the credits for links, but basically Incompetech and OpenGameArt. I trimmed "Gary"'s gun handling noises down to get that nice solid "click", but didn't have to do anything else to it. It worked perfectly! (In my opinion.)

Well I caved and ran a modern web browser to play it, and it was a fun bouncy experience

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Appreciate you trying it out! Hopefully the measures required were not excessively heroic... ; - )