This is a very impressive VN for having been put together in such a short period of time. Excellent use of music and sound, and a stylish visual interface that adds to the appeal and suits the feel/theme very well. It’s easy to overlook what sound can add to a story – but many of the most memorable VNs out there are the ones that make their music and sound effects an integral part of the experience. Colour is also very effectively used. The UI in the second part of the VN reminds me of the stylish interface of games like Persona 5 and helps to sell the tone and character whose perspective we see it through.
The amount of work that’s gone into the visual effects and interface does feel a little let down by some of the background images. Stock photos with clear humans are an understandable and sometimes necessary shortcut in a project with such a tight deadline (particularly a solo project), but they create a bit of a disconnect given the love that’s been put into the UI. Along with the occasional typo, though, this is all completely understandable for a Jam project. None of the weak points are enough to drag the story down or pull the reader out of it.
In contrast, the scenes set in Mikkel’s room are some fantastic visual storytelling. The little bit we see of his relationship with his friends does a great job investing the reader in their relationships. The characters feel like they have a history to their interactions and their friendship.
The only real issues I see with the VN are the fact that it doesn’t tell a complete story, and the suddenness of the genre shift. When it comes to the length, the story introduces more than it can resolve in a project with such a limited size. The reader’s interest is captured, they want to know what’s happening, but the VN doesn’t last long enough to provide a satisfactory answer. It works great as a preview, less well as a complete experience.
The genre shift and accompanying perspective shift from Mikkel to Mycroft is more awkward. A fairly common piece of writing advice when it comes to urban fantasy and horror is that if you’re telling a story where the supernatural will play a role, it’s unwise to wait too long before you make its presence known, or at least hint at its possibilities. The hints that are dropped in One More Light are ambiguous and small enough that when the perspective jumps over to Mycroft it feels downright jarring – like we’ve switched from one story to a completely different one. A few more hints or teases early on could have made the transition rewarding and satisfying instead of perplexing.
Minor issues aside, this is a very good entry. Full stop. The story is very good. The writing is emotional and effective. The sound and music are great. The interface is thematic and innovative. When the biggest criticism a reader can give to a story is “I wish there was more of it”, by definition you’ve done an exceptional job!