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Spoilers etc:

Theme: I'm conflicted, in that while this is about literal expansion of the regions, it's also more-so a "humanized" tale refactoring expansion as a relationship tale, but then the relationship is able to be legally impacted, but then we do see the parts about the aftermath. It's a tale about expansion, but expansion is only present as a conceit in an extended metaphor that I thin would have carried over better if the boundaries between the characters as characters and the characters as regions was more firmly defined.

Story: There's a sort of inability to commit to the premise of the work, which is rough when dealing with a work about an extended metaphor. I felt like this conceit was present in many ways throughout the work, which had me not as connected as I could have been, because I kept seeing what were moments of self-indulgence (and while I think it'd be hard to find a conceit that isn't self indulgent when telling a story, that doesn't mean  it's helping make the conceit consistent).

In the initial propaganda advert, Helsinki  provides some characterization to the exposition, albeit in the way that a politician speaking to their constituents does (artificial, not in a way people speak to people), but then the second instance of the map screen is primarily just pure exposition, Helsinki not functioning as a character in that scene. Sipoo isn't even really emotionally present, just regurgitating facts when the second map screen arises. In that function, Sipoo just becomes like a teleprompter, and we're trying to put some emotionality to the elements at hand.

The characterization of Helsinki falls flat for me. She's never able to be fully a character nor fully a region. She says things that are inconsistent with her character (someone posh saying balancussy?). If the house is a means to recognize the affluence of a region (and yet, the characters also travel through said regions to distinct locations within, so then what does the house become then? An abandoned metaphor?), why don't we get invited over to Helsinki's house instead of those dates? She's very Cruella DeVille and other similar disney villains, but without their extensive flair, existing more of a caricature.

The dates themselves aren't quite fully implemented. The voice of the work paints Helsinki as a flat character, a one dimensional villain and sure, those exist, but politicians try to pretend otherwise in their pleas ( at least, they're supposed to not have the mask off). The economy scene was just an extended Lucille Bluth.Arrested Development sort of moment, the movie theatre scene felt more like you advertising your taste in media, the non-sequitur joke date screen undercut the mood of the piece-- for something fought in law and for a relationship, it made light of the situation. I love jokes, but they should work to the tone of the piece, not pull the tone away to rubberband back. The third date didn't even have an outcome, but had Dom propose Sipoo's plan on behalf of Sipoo? I suppose the conceit was that this was already determined as part of the private talks, but then that doesn't really carry over to what happens when people go through these things.

We have commentary on voting, in that a "region" didn't vote for the prime minister-- what does that entail, in this narrative? Is it like the State's electoral votes? Did none of the constituents within vote for that person? The throw-away joke at the "expense" of the prime minister is too close to the material of the work, exploring political events where the political is perhaps the most personal it can get (... the Hetalia mode, of which I don't think really tends to go to actual locations, but exists in more of a metaspace? At least, Denmark Vs the World does which functions in a similar conceit). In a similar vein, what does it mean for a region to have children? Splitting themselves into more sub-regions? I feel like in most political spaces, stuff tends to get absorbed by others, not splinter off if they want to endure.

At times, the prose felt utilitarian to explain the mundanity, but that mundanity was introduced for elements that didn't quite always follow through.

I wonder if some of the characterization could have been restored if the exposition for the map scenes weren't done from Helsinki's primary PoV (like some sort of political advert), but in the guise of Finland, talking about her children (because that's how Finland is broken up, no?) It would have allowed for that judgment of Helsinki, as opposed to Helsinki coming off as explicitly disingenuous. 

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Story asides: There's a lot of local references that I naturally didn't catch, and that makes sense. I'm not local. The only part where that didn't work with me were as noted before, in that it couldn't decide to be in a more metaphoric space or a more physical space.

Is the Vanta panda joke a commentary on the region? We barely interact with Vanta throughout the work. What it is trying to say with that absurdist joke?

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Presentation: I think you really stood out here, with your pictures of actual places that were affected by this development. I liked your gag for the nicknaming, but when given a world of open input, I hoped for like a profanity check (albeit that may be hard across multiple languages), given I named Dom Dickhead after playing around with it given the "bullying" re: using the default nickname.

I did like the presentation of the map screens, and the use of transitions, although the font you used made Sipoo look liked SIP(two number zeros). Skinny O's become 0's.

The legalese text was too large, imo. One's eyes naturally slip off that, which means that you have to travel too far to go back to the words that your brain resists (or maybe it's just cuz I'm too close to legalese in my day job that it pains me to see more off work hours).

I don't like that I can't click to advance the text, even if the default text speed is pretty fast.

I thought it was funny you had US calendar dating format.

The first two 

Creativity: Doing a Hetalia-esque rendition of one's local politics is bold, and there were some good uses of animation in your engine to reflect the mood.

I enjoyed your "where are they now" documentary sequence.

Overall thoughts: The idea is fun and interesting, but I think the execution was too muddied for me to be in love. It had too many elements, many conflicting, and a lot of nods to what felt like filmography moments without them necessarily translating into the same contexts.

I wanted to care more for the characters, but they felt flat, because half the time they were explicitly the regions as mouthpieces for politicians, as opposed to characters with agendas, and even then some of the motivation (even if true to real life) was so passive. Metaphor can translate real events into something more, like seeing a flashback to a clandestine meeting between Helsinki and Sipoo instead of just getting another history lesson dump.

By being both a documentary and a sorta rom-com, it wasn't quite perfectly either in ways that pulled against both genres.

I still appreciate the novel attempt, and the curious lesson on Finland politics. An interesting gaze into Purkka's creative PoV.

(1 edit)

thanks for your extensive comment! respectfully: i feel like you're overthinking a lot of things.

this kind of text just works such that there is no coherent fictional reality to it, no consistent logic behind how its various layers correspond to each other or what functions the characters serve in any given scene. starting with a clearly "non-narrative" bit to frame the rest was a very deliberate choice; that's the primary lens you're supposed to be reading the game through.

despite it being subordinate the essay-esque framing, there is a story somewhere in there, true. if i had to explain it myself, i'd say it's about two guys getting whisked away from their seemingly mundane lives into a postmodern hellscape where their fates are suddenly controlled by an incomprehensible, shifting metaphor, Helsinki's sudden real-life legal intrusion manifesting as a narrative one in the fiction. this is the basis for the drama, but also for the comedy, and particularly how they intersect: many of the jokes serve to undercut the coherency of the storyworld to cruelly underline the absurd horrors the characters are now facing.

whether this works or is fun to read is up to every reader to decide, of course. i guess it's an easy text to read "wrong" in the sense that there's a very specific way it demands you engage with it. i'm honestly somewhat surprised that so much of the reader response so far feels like people get my literary intentions!

anyway, as a result, i don't really have much to say to most of your comments. as for some specific ones i can try to elaborate on:

> She says things that are inconsistent with her character (someone posh saying balancussy?).

the word choice is an attempt to translate the specific pun from the original script, which i felt was important enough to not change into some other kind of joke. i honestly dislike the final result more for being anachronistic to 2006, and would gladly change it if anything better occurred to me.

in general, though, i think it's not too far from the character's voice, since Helsinki's whole point is the ambiguity of how much her "sophisticated city folk" thing is a role she plays and how much it's just what she's like (and what the difference would even be).

> the movie theatre scene felt more like you advertising your taste in media

well, i'd say the major references are pretty purposeful in their intertextual meanings. the whole scene being a homage to Kaurismäki's FALLEN LEAVES is a deliberate move to put the game in conversation with his filmography, particularly his brand of comedy, and it's worth noting that this is a reference the average Finnish reader is expected to probably get. as for SYNDROMES AND A CENTURY, the film the characters watch, the countryside/city dualism in that one is relevant in a fairly obvious way.

(even in more general terms, the soap opera the guys watch vs. Helsinki's preferred arthouse cinema is pretty central to how the text constructs the positions the characters represent and returns in a very big way later on. honestly, i worried the first date was too load-bearing since it had so much important material compared to the other two.)

> The third date didn't even have an outcome, but had Dom propose Sipoo's plan on behalf of Sipoo?

yeah. just pointing out that this is one of those places where you really don't want to over/underthink things – the rift arising between Dom and Sipoo in the story dramatizes the internal tensions in Sipoo's local politics resulting from how those two guys mishandled the private negotiations with Helsinki

> Is the Vanta panda joke a commentary on the region? We barely interact with Vanta throughout the work. What it is trying to say with that absurdist joke?

it's a specific reference i won't bother going into here, but more importantly, Vantaa is kind of just a guy who shows up, gladly hands Helsinki the key to her scheme (the Wedge of Vesterkulla) with no clear motive of his own, and refuses to elaborate. this is more or less how it went down in real life, too.

> I did like the presentation of the map screens, and the use of transitions, although the font you used made Sipoo look liked SIP(two number zeros). Skinny O's become 0's.

true, though you'll have to send this feedback to whoever designed the road signs in Finland! (what i'm using is someone's CC0-licensed reconstruction of the font, but it's very close to the real thing.) i guess there is no risk of confusion in practice, since place names don't tend to have numbers in them.