There's a lot of good in this story, so I'll start with that. The team did a good job of creating backgrounds, CGs and sprites, and the ambience/mood of the story stays persistent throughout the whole novel. A lot of work went into making this VN look and feel the way it does, and I can appreciate that!
However, I do have a few problems with it. Aside from the technical issues of having no music and lines of dialogue being confused by who's saying what, there were also a lot of moments where the background or character don't change despite what's going on narratively. There's a long moment where we're still in the jazz club visually, even though narratively we're walking in the streets with Colton (and there IS a street background...). This happens again in the chase scene, we're stuck in the bedroom for a while until it cuts away.
As for writing, I found it a bit tiring to read one single line of text for things that could have been put together instead. The style of writing is very direct and 'cut and dry', in my opinion, and it gives the unfortunate feeling of scenes dragging on for longer than they should. I especially felt this for the sex scene. It goes on for... a while...
Lastly, I think the dialogue between characters could use some work. This may be harsh, but Colton feels like he was written by a bottom: horny, rough, and dominant. The exchanges between these characters feel very cliche and almost fan-fic-like (especially the antagonist...).
That being said, the ending definitely elevated this story a lot, I enjoyed the action sequence and it made me want to know what happens next for these characters. Props to the team, and I hope this criticism is taken with an open mind.