I don't feel it needs to be stated at this point that the game is plagued with several issues in pretty much all sectors. The story is structurally messy too, it sets up very little in the first half so the "twist" feels like it comes out of left field. (Even though, I appreciate it, finally something exciting happens!).

In terms of prose, I felt like the bar scene was pretty poorly written: there are a lot of repetitions and meandering before we get anywhere. I must say though, the writing bounces back somewhat starting from the sex scene onward.

What is there is salvageable, but unfortunately it was way too far from being ready for publication.

My final qualified entry May Wolf vn!  I don't know if anyone has reported issues with the Android port, but I could not get it to work past the title screen at all...

EDIT: FIX IS NOW INCOMING!

To make sure it wasn't a bad install, I re-downloaded the game, reinstalled it this evening and got the same error.  I didn't change my ratings as a result though, as I was able to play the Windows version without incident.  I just wanted to make sure you were aware is all.

I liked the pace and writing, and found the sprites and backgrounds to be charming.  I feel some of the scene transitions were timed oddly, in that the events narratively happened well before the visual transitions took place on multiple occasions.  I feel the ending was a tad abrupt, even if the project will continue in the future, something about the last bit seemed to hit a bit flat.  Overall, there is an interesting premise that I am interested to see fleshed out a bit more going forward.

While the writing is pretty polished for a game jam project, the programming work is rough – dialog tags errors are so frequent it doesn't feel like anyone read through the finished product before hitting Publish on itch. There's no title screen (just using one of the pre-existing backgrounds or CGs would have worked in a pinch) or music, either.

Going for full custom assets is respectable, but the backgrounds feel too sparse, with a couple even lingering long after the characters have left the places they depict. I wouldn't have minded a stock photo or two to fill the gaps. Sprites lacking expressions, meanwhile, leaves the whole thing feeling pretty visually static. (Also, is it just me or have some of them, the protagonist's in particular, been stretched horizontally? What's up with that?)

As mentioned, the prose is readable, and the sex scene has a pretty good flow to it. I think my biggest doubt about the story is its tendency to go for what feel like extreme tonal shifts – the game starts on quite non-horny note, and then the protagonist is suddenly admiring a guy's ass, which is both described at length and portrayed with an illustration. The same could be said about the near-instant jump to plot and action; even with some mild foreshadowing, it feels like it comes so fast there hasn't been enough time for character work to put weight into the emotional stakes. I do like the double meaning of the title, though.

Finally, Pursuit doesn't have the most elegant ending in the jam, with a "to be continued" that feels lacking both as a conclusion as setup – not a lot has happened so far, and the idea of what will happen next remains somewhat vague. I get what it's going for, but the execution could be smoother in a lot of ways.

I really appreciate all the custom sprites, BGs, everything. Even the music too! Though it didn't make it into the game, it's a pretty good piece. It's unfortunate how you stumble upon the... technical difficulties, but I guess that's part of the learning curve of VN development, eh?

The plot itself is fun, but I can see why some people yawn while reading it. Audio is a pretty important piece for a VN. Right, I'm not gonna dig further into things that are possibly unintentional mistakes because of the... circumstances. On another note, the "pool" scene was a bit difficult to digest. Not that you didn't describe the scene enough. In fact, it's the exact opposite. You went into details but it felt like something that's written for a novel. It could work better for a text-only medium, but in a visual novel, the readers would instinctively carve for supporting visuals for scenes that involve meticulous details.

My main gripe is the MC. I don't know if it's intentional, but damn, he's really helpless. I lost my mind when he barraged Colton with questions instead of getting a grip on the situation. Even after the pursuit, he kept doing this. Of course, it's very normal for someone to have lots of questions given the situation, but the way the conversation flowed wasn't fluid. If I were the wolf, I'd just ditch him. Call it a personal preference, but god knows we've had enough of helpless main characters in FVN space.

This VN has a lot of potential, I'm looking forward to seeing the project after the patch-up.

A decent start with an indecent wolf.

Custom sprites and custom bgs will always get praise from me. Especially with a wolf like that. Good lord. And the plot is fun enough that it doesn't take itself too seriously. At least, I think that's what you all were going for.

That said, things move pretty slow. Too slow, imo. And while, normally, it's good to take intimate moments slow, that is 3/4 of the current build. 

The lack of visual or audio feedback makes this pacing issue even more noticeable. Hopefully these things are remedied in the next build, and it sounds like the assets have already been made. If that's the case, then I could see that helping a lot.

And that's about it. It's good, but flawed.

If the wolf was a muscle bottom maybe I could overlook those flaws. Just saying. >.>

Spoilers:

Theme: Expanding worldview or something?

Story: One part the writer looking for inspiration, one part a horny hookup, one part the story to an action movie where the normal everyday man is pulled in by being in at the wrong place at the wrong time.

I think ending with what's the beginning to a larger narrative kinda blueballs the work--I think you would have maybe been better served with like, Colton abandoning the protagonist in the hotel overnight (with a note perhaps).

I think your smut was well done though.

The voice is pretty consistent overall, and the  tension is ever present.

Presentation: Okay, there's a lot of small things that add up here.

No music.

Misattribution of dialog tags that should have been caught beta testing.

Backgrounds that don't get replaced when tehy should.

Describing things we can see on the screen without enough flavor changes.

I appreciated the custom sprites and backgrounds when appropriate, but when we're seeing them past when we should it makes them stand out for the wrong reasons.

Creativity: It feels like the start of an action movie, although the pacing is a bit off.  Writers on writing though... aough. Still a fun conceptual romp.

Overall Thoughts: With some smoothing of the rough edges and another pass, this could be pretty good, but there's a lot of missed opportunities like no jazz music playing in a jazz club (let alone any music at all).

Also ending with the start of the bulk of the narrative is a good trailer tease, but not quite for a stand alone work.

Solid attempt though.

There's a lot of good in this story, so I'll start with that. The team did a good job of creating backgrounds, CGs and sprites, and the ambience/mood of the story stays persistent throughout the whole novel. A lot of work went into making this VN look and feel the way it does, and I can appreciate that!

However, I do have a few problems with it. Aside from the technical issues of having no music and lines of dialogue being confused by who's saying what, there were also a lot of moments where the background or character don't change despite what's going on narratively. There's a long moment where we're still in the jazz club visually, even though narratively we're walking in the streets with Colton (and there IS a street background...). This happens again in the chase scene, we're stuck in the bedroom for a while until it cuts away.

As for writing, I found it a bit tiring to read one single line of text for things that could have been put together instead. The style of writing is very direct and 'cut and dry', in my opinion, and it gives the unfortunate feeling of scenes dragging on for longer than they should. I especially felt this for the sex scene. It goes on for... a while...

Lastly, I think the dialogue between characters could use some work. This may be harsh, but Colton feels like he was written by a bottom: horny, rough, and dominant. The exchanges between these characters feel very cliche and almost fan-fic-like (especially the antagonist...).

That being said, the ending definitely elevated this story a lot, I enjoyed the action sequence and it made me want to know what happens next for these characters. Props to the team, and I hope this criticism is taken with an open mind.

11th May Wolf 2024 VN I will read and rate here we go!

Wow, that's a big team you guys got!

Edit 1: Ok, I have just finished reading this VN. Here are my thoughts.

The story feels like that of a Western action movie, but with physically intimate scenes too. Even though you said that you had to rush a bit to get first act finished, you somehow managed to preserve some sort of organized pacing.  The sex scene felt like I was reading The Smoke Room. Backgrounds and sprites remind me of Rami/Grizz's old artstyle.

That's my thoughts so far. Thanks for the experience.

An interesting premise for sure and one that I'd like to see more of in the future, though at times the game did make me wonder how much was compromised due to it being a jam entry. Leaving aside some of the issues others have mentioned (like the lack of sound in general, or issues with the textboxes), the narration at times felt like it was setting up an upcoming choice or interactive scene (clearest example being at the end), yet the game remained completely linear all the way through; which makes me wonder whether choices were planned and it was all streamlined for jam purposes, or if what we got was the intent all along for this act.

This feels like a project with a lot of potential and a lot of heart behind it, albeit one that would probably have benefited a lot from more time if it hadn't been made during the Jam. There are definitely some rough edges. The lack of music and a few places where the text boxes are tagged with the wrong character's name, or with a character's name when it should be the narrator's voice, stand out in particular.

That said, there's a lot to enjoy with the sprite work and CGs. Colton is a charming wolf who a reader wants to get to know better, and music or not the writing does a good job establishing the feel of the jazz club. It's quite an enjoyable read even with the editing hiccups.