Spoilers:
Theme: Expanding knowledge of teh world? I guess?
Story: I liked your swing, but I felt like you missed in part.
There weren't any levels in the depths of Mikkel's angst (and sure, that makes sense) but we go from depressed at party to depressed at lake to memories of family angst to depressed to depressed. You kept telling me in flowery language how much the boy was suffering.
It's not perhaps an unfaithful telling of like depression, albeit maybe not for the suicide (I do believe it's common that it's said the day an attempt is made, those who attempt feel at peace, because they have something to hold onto (and it seems like they day they come out the most from underneath the depressive fog)). And yet, we spent a good chunk reiterating the same pain.
I liked the intrusive thoughts (and then the positive intrusive thoughts) displayed when getting rejected from university. (Grad school? It seemed like Uni which made Mycroft's interest in Mikkel at the end there a bit oof for me).
I was a bit surprised he had room for that flower depths of prose, is what I was cynically thinking. It made sense for the narrator at the start (although I didn't love that (i did like the spider in the web, and the message, but I didn't love the sort of preachy "you have one life to live bit" (but maybe others liked that more))), given that's more of an authorial voice, but Mikkel already seemed exhausted-- creative turning of phrases is another item that people point to as fading away in the depths of depression (a sort of muted mind).
The genre shift was curious-- I'm wondering if Mikkel already had his fate changed once as a child, and thus the second time around is what fucked stuff up enough for Lady Death to get pissed, albeit it happening felt abrupt, and out of nowhere. (How did Mycroft even find him? Just walking around, always looking and then bam, used his shinigami eyes to see that Mikkel wasn't going to survive the day?)
The puzzle wasn't too difficult, I just didn't know what Mycroft wanted sans hint. The screen is a grocery store and we just talked about being trailed, so I mentioned groceries visible on the screen or other aisles/the trailing.
I did enjoy Mycroft's voice a lot more, so while the shift was abrupt, I wasn't outright upset. Just confused.
Presentation: You ate here. My only thought was during the guitar scene, you said that the word faded away-- make it actually happen by blurring the background while playing instead of telling us.
I also didn't love the lengthy pauses (that you purposefully chose) and the no-waits/redos (that you purposefully chose) but your vision was very clear in those and it made sense in the moment.
I appreciated your tinkering with size of text, guis, twisting words around, etc. You do like to make use of the full engine.
Creativity: Urban fantasy god proxy war & slice of life depression quest is an interesting combination.
Overall thoughts: Nice stuff, although this felt more like a vehicle to launch the former rather than being a full game-jam oriented entry. I think the early focus got a bit misplaced, perhaps because we were too far in the protagonist's head, making all the disclosures of feeling depressed somehow feel less important with the sheer repetition of them.
Still, I think you told an interesting story and that people will be lining up to see the rest of it. Well done again!