First of all, congratulations on making the VN! I can see you put a lot of effort into it and they are amazing, from the custom sprites, GUI, music, all of 'em. I had to play the game on my own outside of the stream to form an opinion. I do think the overall game is great, so I'll be focusing on some things that I think can be improved, so here we go...
SPOILERS ALERT
You have an interesting premise here. Combined with the game title, you grabbed the readers' interest from the get-go. We would instinctively be questioning "ok what's up with this town?" Unfortunately, I think you didn't lean on it hard enough, and that's probably why some people think the shift to the second half of the story is a bit jarring. There's a potential to dig at it a bit further, and I think this is the "missing link" (?). When Walt said something about his friends, Asher could probably tell a bit more about the town's myth or other oddities. That would ease up the shift more toward the mystery part and make the relationship more dynamic. I'm fairly neutral about the voices, but I can see why it's a bit random for some people.
Lastly, about the design of the route split. From reading your notes, apparently, it's kinda spur of the moment decision (?). While I wholeheartedly enjoy the content of all three routes, the design of how a player can access a route is... not so much. I assume you wanted each of those three different paths to tell different sides of the story, so the readers can get the whole picture only by playing through all of them? (I love that system rather than route split that only gives minor flavor text differences or just the ending without affecting the big picture). If that's the plan, I think you should make the route split not very vaguely specific and have some degree of tolerance. In your case, the good ending can only be accessed through an exact series of choices. It won't be too much of an issue if the players can directly see the implication of each choice, but one of the branches used here is Walt's question to Asher whether they had sex the night before or not. From a reader's perspective, the "choices with weight" were the "Yes" or "No", which is very natural to think of. Instead, the "correct" choice here to get into the good ending is to pick the unsure/neutral one. You have 5 branches that determine the ending, and the reader has to make exactly 5 correct choices to get the good ending (and all 5 wrongs for the bad end). This will likely cause some readers to miss the ending, and they might spend too much time figuring things out without the help of your guide. I personally believe if you have to rely on a guide to access a route, especially not a "super secret" route, then something is wrong with the design. I know it's a bunch of rambles, but I hope you get what I'm saying here. One solution that could help this is to make the one choice weighs more than the other, and give some tolerance when evaluating them to decide which branch the readers end up in.
All these things aside, I thoroughly enjoyed the game. I could see the effort and passion poured into it and I think you've done an amazing job. I'll be looking forward to your next project! ^^